Explore BDSM play parties and munches with our guide, covering etiquette, preparation, and the significance of consent and community in the BDSM world.

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In the world of sexual exploration, the realm of dominance is not limited to men. Women can be just as assertive, confident, and commanding in the bedroom. Embracing your inner domme can lead to exhilarating experiences of power and pleasure, both for you and your partner. So, if you're ready to take charge and explore your dominant side, here's a guide to help you unleash your sexual dominance in bed.

What Is Sexual Dominance?

It's all about taking the lead, setting the tempo, and controlling an experience that leaves you and your partner(s) breathless with excitement. Think of it as tapping into your inner domme and unleashing your wildest fantasies with confidence and flair. From playful teasing to commanding control, sexual dominance is about exploring your desires, embracing your power, and creating moments of intense pleasure that leave you feeling empowered and fulfilled.

Benefits Of Being Dominant

Being in control can:

• Be incredibly empowering
• Boost your self-confidence
• Ignite a sense of liberation that extends far beyond the bedroom
• Encourage open & honest conversations
• Act as a stress relief from your day-to-day life

What are the Responsibilities of a Dominant?

Being dominant isn't just about calling the shots—it's also about nurturing trust, creating a safe space for experimentation, and ensuring that everyone aboard feels valued and respected. Whether they're setting scenes or dishing out commands, the dominant's role is to elevate the experience and leave everyone aboard floating on a cloud of pleasure.

Tips To Be Sexually Dominant In Bed

1. Discuss Your Fantasy

Talking about desires ensures both partners understand each other's preferences and boundaries, fostering trust and intimacy for a more satisfying experience.

Hot Tip: Add some spice by turning it into a date night affair. Try asking each other intimate questions over dinner or break the ice with a fun conversation starter card game.

2. Wear Something Intimidating

It’s not just a visual treat that plays into your partner's fantasies; it also gives you the confidence boost to feel sexy and empowered!

Hot Tip: Consider role-play outfits, sexy lingerie, or daring latex attire. And for that extra touch of sass, throw on some red lipstick, high heels and a cheeky spank paddle to perfect your fiesty ensemble!

3. Be A Boss

Embracing dominance means taking charge with confidence. This not only exudes power but also instills trust and safety in your submissive partner, helping them fully embrace their role.

Hot Tip: Start with simple commands (eg. “on your knees now!”) or a little hair-pulling to help your partner feel your sense of authority. From your demeanour, posture, and tone to every command—aim for conviction and firmness.

4. Let Them Worship Your Body

This act reinforces your power and control, putting you in a position of authority where they focus on pleasing you and fulfilling your desires.

Hot Tip: Invite your partner to explore your body with their hands, enjoying slow, passionate caresses. Offer them the opportunity to kiss every inch of your body or give you a sensual massage.

5. Restrict Their Senses

With sensory deprivation, it enhances the power dynamics, elevating anticipation and even arousal! It also allows the submissive partner to concentrate solely on the dominant's instructions, intensifying their surrender.

Hot Tip: Adding bondage essentials like a blindfold or cuffs, you can indulge in teasing, stroking, and spanking your partner with full control over their pleasure.

6. Choose Positions Where You Have Control

Watching your partner surrender control can be incredibly arousing! It also empowers you to guide the encounter, dictating its pace, intensity, and amplifying overall enjoyment!

Empowering sex positions for a woman on top, asserting dominance in the bedroom, include:

1. Cowgirl: The woman straddles her partner, giving her control over the rhythm and depth of penetration.

2. Reverse Cowgirl: Similar to the cowgirl position, but facing away from her partner, allowing her to control the angle and intensity.

3. Lotus: The woman sits on her partner's lap with legs crossed while facing each other, giving her control over the pace and closeness.

4. Amazon: The woman kneels over her partner, who is lying down, allowing her to dictate the speed and depth of penetration.

5. Face Sitting: The woman sits on her partner's face, giving her control over the pleasure and intensity of oral stimulation.

These positions empower women to take charge and assert their dominance in the bedroom, leading to a more fulfilling sexual experience for both partners. 

7. Control Their Climax

This brings a mix of mental and physical control to the sexual dynamic, amping up the excitement and anticipation. Extending the buildup can really ramp up their climax, making for an intense toe-curling experience!

Hot Tip: Edge your partner close to the finish line then hit the breaks. Repeat this cycle multiple times and watch your partner beg for your touch to fulfill their insatiable desires.

What is the Difference Between Dominance and Aggression?

Dominance is all about taking the lead with confidence and respect, guiding the action with finesse and charm. It's about asserting your desires in a playful and consensual way, creating an atmosphere of excitement and anticipation.

On the other hand, aggression is like a bull in a china shop – it's forceful and disruptive. It disregards boundaries, lacks finesse, and can leave everyone feeling uncomfortable and unsafe from the lack of consent. 

BDSM safety and consent is the number one thing to look out for when delving into the world of kink and should always be at the back of your mind as you play out your roles. And if you're not sure where to even begin, here's our guide to BDSM play.

To sum it off, embracing your sexual dominance can be a liberating and empowering experience for women. By knowing your desires, communicating with confidence, and exploring power dynamics, you can unleash your inner domme and create unforgettable experiences of pleasure and intimacy in the bedroom. So, go ahead – take the reins and let your dominant side shine!

Looking to dip your toes into the world of kink? Check out our Intro To Kink Workshop and get insider tips & tricks from a seasoned kink experts.

Dirty talk – it's the secret sauce of spicing things up in the bedroom. Yet, for many, the thought of uttering naughty phrases can be intimidating. Fear not! With a few tips and a sprinkle of confidence, you'll be commanding the conversation like a seasoned pro in no time.

1. It's Ok Not To Be Original 

It’s always handy to have an arsenal of phrases handy. I mean, when all the blood is rushing elsewhere, it is difficult to come up with sexy phrases on the spot. Jot down some phrases from eroticas, poems, lines from movies/shows or even books.

2. Lower Your Voice & Lean In

A sultry whisper can transform even the most mundane phrase into a tantalising tease. And since you’re whispering, you'll need to cozy up close to your partner. No one wants to miss out on dirty talk because they can't hear you!

And for an added dose of sexy, do it right next their ear and add a little heavy breathing.

3. Personalise It

Everyone has different triggers as to what gets them going. The key is finding out which type of dirty talk works best on them by experimenting and trying it out in different ways 

Eg. If you know they love it from behind, then tell them how much you want them to do that. Find out their trigger words, it's all about playing up their deepest desires.

DIRTY TALKING EXAMPLES

1. Hot & heavy single words or sounds:

• “please”, “harder”, “more”, “faster”, “deeper”, “yes”
• sounds like moans, sighs, or gasps
• some people also enjoy hearing their name being said during sex

2. Be intentional or give recognitions:

• “Don't cum until I say so”
• “You feel so good inside me”
• “I love it when you touch me there”
• “Just like that”
• “Your cock/pussy feels amazing”
• “Harder, baby. I want us to come together”

3. Build sexual tension:

• “I miss the way you taste”
• “I just keep thinking about you grabbing me and taking me”
• “I'm going to f*ck you so hard when I see you”
• “I want to feel how wet/hard you are”
• “My panties are soaked, get home quick”
• “I’ve been very bad and need to be punished”

Praise is good for you in more ways than one, and you don’t have to take our word for it, it’s scientifically proven. Compliments induce pleasure, kickstarting dopamine production that leads to feelings of gratification. Praise can also harmonise and strengthen your relationship, helping you to build trust and feel more comfortable with one another. When someone strokes your ego and tells you how fabulous you are, you’re going to feel good about yourself. It’s little wonder that praise kink is so popular!

You might be surprised to learn that praise kink doesn’t just benefit the person receiving the plaudits, it’s also advantageous to the person dishing out the niceties. If you’re offering praise you’re providing pleasure, increasing happiness, and reinforcing desired behaviour. Your partner is more likely to dress up, have fun and get raunchy especially if they know how much you like it and that you make them feel good about what they’re doing.

Receiving compliments may feel a bit strange at first, but embracing positive affirmations can heighten happiness, so why not accept those wonderful words?

 

What is Praise Kink?

BDSM is typically linked to discipline, impact, and bondage, but there’s more to kink than the thwack of a riding crop across bare buttocks. Being bad is certainly fun, but being good can be just as thrilling, and it allows you to delve into the gratifying world of praise kink. If you love compliments, praise kink could be right up your alley. This particular kink involves deriving satisfaction from giving or receiving positive affirmations, glowing feedback, and praise during day-to-day life, play, and sex.

Praise Kink Vs Compliments

Compliments are always welcome, be it a commendation for your hard work, a nod to your new hairstyle, or a standing ovation for the fantastic blow job you’ve just provided. Approval fills us with joy, especially when it’s delivered by a special someone. For fans of praise kink, the sense of pride is joined by another feeling - sexual arousal. When it comes to praise kink, compliments not only provide gratification they’re also a massive turn-on.

Popular Praise Kink Phrases

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Positive reinforcement can be given in a variety of ways, if you’re new to the world of praise kink you might not be sure where to start. Thankfully, there are a couple of common phrases that work well for all occasions e.g. “You’re such a good girl / boy,” and “I’m so proud of you,” are encouraging on all levels. You can also tailor your phrases to fit the situation.

Praising behaviour

We’ve touched on telling your partner that they are a “good girl/boy.” This phrase works particularly well if you share a total power exchange (TPE) or Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship. Praising your submissive can bring you closer and reinforce your roles. Other ways to praise behaviour include “You really know just how to turn me on,” and “That's right, keep going, just like that."

Praising appearance

Delight and arouse your other half by highlighting their good points and assets. This is a good way to vanquish insecurities and build body confidence. Phrases such as “Bend over and show me your cute ass",” “Your ass looks amazing in those jeans,” and “Your lips are so kissable,” will make your partner feel like a million dollars.

Praising performance

Pleased with the way your partner is going about things? Tell them how well they’re doing by uttering phrases such as "You can really take a spanking, I like that," and “The sounds you make are so hot.” Praising their performance will motivate your partner to continue on the same path.

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Praising sexual prowess

When praise acts as a turn-on, accolades in the bedroom can take sex from run-of-the-mill to remarkable. Telling your partner how much you fancy them and want them will give them one hell of a boost. Try “I love it when you lick/ suck, [body part],” or “You feel incredible, I want to make love to you all night long” and “You are an amazing lover.”

Experimenting With Praise Kink

It can take time to figure out which phrases turn you on and which switch you off, and whilst some like to be praised verbally, others feel that actions speak louder than words. A broad smile, a cheeky wink, or a reassuring squeeze of the arm can all be used as subtle ways to praise your other half. You could even mix it up by using a combination of the two e.g., an encouraging kiss on the cheek combined with the words “You’re doing so well, I’m so pleased,” can work wonders.

Boundaries and Limits

As with all BDSM-style play, you should discuss your boundaries and limits up front and always engage in SSC (safe, sane, consensual) play. You’ll need to talk about how this is going to play out for you before praise kink becomes part of the equation. A few things to think about:

• What type of praise are you both comfortable with?
  You can opt for verbal praise, non-verbal praise, or a mixture of the two.

• Are there any phrases you would like to steer clear of?
  E.g., some find “Good girl / boy” too condescending. Highlight any problematic phrases to prevent awkward moments.

• Is praise kink just for sex and play or other occasions too?
  Do you prefer praise kink to be kept in the bedroom or would you like to incorporate it into other areas of your life?

• Where and when is kink praise acceptable?
  Decide if kink praise should be kept within the confines of the home, or if you can indulge in it at other times too, e.g., shopping in the supermarket, at a restaurant, or out with friends.

• Overt kink praise or clandestine compliments?
  It’s not good sport to unwittingly involve vanilla people in your kink e.g., dishing out an over the knee spanking during the morning train commute wouldn’t be well-received by many of your fellow travellers! However, praise kink is easier to incorporate. Others are likely to smile and cast admiring glances if they hear you complimenting your partner – they won’t have a clue that your other half is sexually aroused by your compassionate comments.

Using Praise Kink To Boost Sex and Play

Praise kink, sex, and BDSM can be a heady combination and a great way to spice up your love life. Need a little inspiration? Here are some ideas to get those creative juices flowing…

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1) Praise Kink and Sexual Play

Enhance foreplay and intercourse with flattering compliments. You don’t have to go straight to the bedroom, start the night with a fancy meal (don’t forget to tell your partner how gorgeous they look).

Once you’re ready for bedroom antics you can set the mood with lingerie and even sexy masks for a touch of mystery. Throw in sex toys to ramp things up, adding praise kink as you go, “I love it when you slide that glass dildo in and out of your pussy.”

2) Praise Kink and Impact

A good spanking works wonderfully well with praise kink. “That’s it, over my lap now, you’re such a compliant slave.” The flat of the palm slapping bare cheeks, “I love it when you take your punishment so well.” The thud of the paddle and the sting of the riding crop coupled with teasing words, “Look how well your beautiful round buttocks jiggle”, can elevate the whole experience.

3) Praise Kink and Bondage

Bondage and praise kink fit together exceptionally well. Restrain your lover and give them gentle encouragement as you bind their ankles and wrists with rope, “You’re such a pretty rope bunny, let’s suspend you so everyone can see.” Other restraints work well with praise kink too. Why not secure your submissive to the bed with cuffs, adding a blindfold and ball gag to ensure they stay put? Watch them squirm as you whisper in their ear, telling your partner how much you love it when they obey you and are at your mercy.

4) Praise Kink and Role Play

If praise kink seems nerve-racking you can take the edge off by combining it with role play. There are plenty of costumes and scenarios to choose from, and adopting another persona can help you to relax. Play out a classroom scene featuring a strict teacher and naughty student “You are so clever! Here’s a gold star,” or engage in medical play Doctor and patient style “Super, you’re doing so well, I’ll just lube my rectal thermometer.”

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5) Praise Kink and Edge Play

If you’re feeling adventurous you can go a step further and combine praise kink with more extreme BDSM activities, such as age play e.g. “Be a good girl / boy for Daddy.” Humiliation play including forced feminization (encouraging a male submissive to dress as a female) invites an element of praise kink too, “Oh look how pretty Simon looks with his pink bow and frilly knickers, how cute.”

“To praise is an investment in happiness” – David Dunn

If you think you might have a penchant for praise kink you’re not alone, after all, there are plenty of BDSM fans in the world. Some crave pain, some relish pleasure and others prefer a heady mix of the two. Praise kink falls on the mild side of play, and you can both try it out wherever and whenever you’re comfortable.

It’s all about mutual pleasure, offering compliments will make your partner feel happy, which in turn will make you feel great. With praise kink you get the added bonus of arousal and a sexual buzz. So if you’re looking to invest in your happiness and boost your sex life, why not give praise kink a go?

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Still not sure where to start with praise kink? Check out our pleasure empowerment workshop Intro to kink, to help you get acquainted with other worldly pleasures to unlock your sexual potential.