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What if being bound was actually a portal into liberation?
Whether the sight of cuffs & chains excites you or sends shivers down your spine, bondage doesn’t have to be as intimidating as it might appear…
In this pick-a-card reading, we will explore how the use of bondage can not only spice up your sex life, but also be a tool to uncover your hidden desires. Just like how limitations can free us up to get creative, physical restraints introduced by bondage can challenge us to open our minds during sexual exploration…
1. Envision incorporating bondage into your kink/sex life or personal intimacy rituals.
2. What setting makes you feel comfortable and aroused?
3. Who makes you feel safe?
4. How intense do you picture the play to be?
5. Then, pick a card that you are most drawn to or are curious about.
6. Scroll down to read your corresponding kinky assignment
7. Play safe and happy bonding ;)
Disclaimer:
When embarking on any sexual expedition, remember to consistently check-in with your partner. Make sure everyone feels safe and comfortable, and is consenting to the activity at hand.
Safe words should be used to efficiently communicate boundaries during play. When in doubt, use the trusty “traffic light” system:
Time to get to know yourself, inside-out…
The Hanged Man in Tarot symbolises surrender, trust and a flip in perspective. Our focus during sex and intimacy is often projected onto our partner… Are they enjoying what I’m doing? Are they turned on? Do they think I look hot right now? This can lead to a people-pleasing approach to intimacy that puts someone else’s pleasure before our own. But if you don’t even know what pleases you, how do you expect your partner to?
The advice of The Hanged Man is to flip this perspective by turning your attention inwards instead. Are *you* turned on? Do you *feel* sexy? Do *you* feel your own pleasure?
Like the woman in the card who lays bare before her lover, your task is to focus solely on your experience and learn how to listen to your body.
Allow your partner to bind you in a way you are comfortable with. If you’re feeling adventurous, use a blindfold so your other senses are extra sensitive. Then, allow your partner to explore every inch of your body from head-to-toe with their hands, mouth, tongue… Experiment with different positions and sensory play – such as ice, feathers, floggers or other toys… Use the scale of “hot - cold” to convey which areas of your body derive the most pleasure and which are no-no zones, and the scale of “harder - softer” to communicate the intensity of sensation you enjoy in that area.
Take your sweet time to plot every point on your body’s pleasure map, and you are both sure to leave the session with some new discoveries.
Good things cum to those who wait…
The Seven of Pentacles in Tarot symbolises patience and delayed gratification. When we think about sex and intimacy, we might be tempted to “skip to the good part”. But sometimes, sex is only as good as the anticipation leading up to it.
The advice of the Seven of Pentacles is to milk every minute leading up to the final act… if you even need to get there at all. Can you derive pleasure from the journey and not just the destination? Can you enjoy the feeling of arousal and desire in your body without satiating it? Can you allow the tension to build until it’s almost boiling over?
Sex is not just about action, it’s about experience. The lovers in this card show us the sensuality that comes with sexuality… and they’re in no rush to get anywhere.
Set a timer for the session. (I recommend between 30 mins - 1 hour but if you’re extra freaky, this can go all night.) The only rule is: no one is allowed to climax within this timeframe… But the goal is: try to get as close as possible. Take turns to be restrained, while one partner does whatever they please to tease and turn the other on.
Experiment with different positions, body parts and toys… If you’re close to cumming, your duty is to let your partner know so they may turn their attention elsewhere… and start the torture all over again. You should both be feeling ready to burst by the end of the session. If you’re not, that’s your cue to set a longer timer…
If you’re used to being a passenger-seat prince or princess, this is your cue to take the wheel!
The Ace of Swords in Tarot symbolises decisiveness, confidence and taking control. When we feel confident on the inside, it shows on the outside. The woman in this card who mounts her lover reminds us that the source of true power comes from within.
The advice of the Ace of Swords is to take the lead for your own desires by allowing your partner to relax and receive. But with great power, comes great responsibility. Just as you might feel nervous getting into a car with a driver who’s unsure about driving, your partner can only trust you to the degree that you trust yourself.
It’s time to rouse your inner Dom(me) and coax them out to play…
Strap on an accessory that makes you feel tapped into your inner dominance (or strap it onto your partner for… easy handling). Restrain your partner to the degree they are comfortable with. For any ladies who might feel extra shy, we got you covered on how to take command in the bedroom! Take your time to tease them – visually, verbally, sensually… Make sure you feel sexy and confident with every move. You’re not just turning them on, you’re turning yourself on. Explore your bodies with different angles and sensations… Reassure them that their only job is to receive and react, unless instructed otherwise. The idea is to use them to satiate your sexual whims – respectfully, of course.
No risk, no reward… Perhaps you’re ready to stop playing it safe and start living life on the edge?
Strength in Tarot symbolises endurance, willpower and dominion over the self. How much can you take? How long can you go? How good can you make yourself feel? This is an opportunity to get ambitious…
The advice of Strength is to explore your own boundaries, either by yourself or with a partner. Nothing grows in the comfort zone… Like the woman in this card who wrestles with the beast, the idea is to confront your own self-imposed limitations. Draw a line, just to find out what’s on the other side of it.
Give yourself a chance to surprise you. Who knows? You might just find a little thrill in breaking the rules – particularly the ones you set out for yourself.
Restrain your hands behind your back or above your head, and have your partner use your favourite toy on you until you reach climax. If solo, position your toy against you either by kneeling above it or holding it with your hands (restraints optional, but commit to the bit!).
Experiment with different rhythms and sensations. The idea is to not stop after you climax – even if you have to slooow down or switch it up with a different form of stimulation. Keep track of the time or orgasm count. Try to beat your personal best.
Still feel out of your depth? Don’t panic – we’re here to ease you into the world of BDSM. Need more inspiration? We’re happy to share more kinky sex ideas. Too easy? Come get hands-on in Hedonist’s Pleasure Empowerment Workshop and learn about the art of shibari (Japanese rope bondage) straight from an expert!
Having just the right amount of fun? Good. Come back next month for another pick-a-card reading… I’ll be waiting.
April Lexi Lee is like if your local Dominatrix was a Tarot reader. She does Tough Love Tarot readings that help others create more authenticity & intimacy with themselves and others.
“Someone’s not getting enough sex.” A common joke made by people who have noticed that someone might be snappier or more irritable, or maybe just peeling the labels off their drink bottle. Jokes aside, is there any credence to the joke?
But have you heard of skin hunger? Or skin starvation? What’s the different between the two? Do you need a hug? Or do you need some sexual healing? We aim to answer all these sexual wellness questions today.
The pelvic floor muscles, much like other muscles in the body, don't operate independently. Engaging in exercises that focus on the glutes (buttocks), adductors (inner thighs), transversus abdominis (deep abdominal muscles), and the diaphragm (a major breathing muscle) can be beneficial in improving the strength and stamina of the pelvic floor muscles.
After ensuring that you can correctly contract your pelvic floor muscles and that they aren't excessively tense, you can begin incorporating them into comprehensive body workouts.
If you wish to enhance your pelvic floor muscles, increase your mindfulness and even intensify orgasms, consider incorporating Kegel Balls into your exercise regimen. It's essential to ensure that you don't suffer from overactive pelvic floor muscles, which might manifest as discomfort during intercourse, difficulty inserting tampons, pain in your pelvis, vagina, testicles, or penis during extended periods of sitting, or challenges in bowel movements. If you're free from these issues, Kegel Balls can be a valuable addition to intensify your pelvic floor workouts and boost your training.
When using kegel balls, be sure to use them correctly to maximize their benefits. Avoid placing them too high inside, as they should challenge your pelvic floor muscles rather than just resting on them. Opt for positions that engage the muscles against gravity, like standing or being on your hands and knees. If you experience pelvic or hip pain, it's wise to consult a healthcare professional for a pelvic floor assessment before using weighted vaginal devices. So, remember to exercise safely and enjoy the journey to a healthier pelvic floor!
Featured Writer:
Physio Down Under is Singapore’s first and only pelvic health physiotherapy clinic. With 6 experienced pelvic health physiotherapists, women, men and children are all able to get their pelvic health concerns addressed in a safe, calm and caring environment. Follow their Instagram or Facebook to get their latest news and updates!
