What if being bound was actually a portal into liberation?
Whether the sight of cuffs & chains excites you or sends shivers down your spine, bondage doesn’t have to be as intimidating as it might appear…
In this pick-a-card reading, we will explore how the use of bondage can not only spice up your sex life, but also be a tool to uncover your hidden desires. Just like how limitations can free us up to get creative, physical restraints introduced by bondage can challenge us to open our minds during sexual exploration…
1. Envision incorporating bondage into your kink/sex life or personal intimacy rituals.
2. What setting makes you feel comfortable and aroused?
3. Who makes you feel safe?
4. How intense do you picture the play to be?
5. Then, pick a card that you are most drawn to or are curious about.
6. Scroll down to read your corresponding kinky assignment
7. Play safe and happy bonding ;)
Disclaimer:
When embarking on any sexual expedition, remember to consistently check-in with your partner. Make sure everyone feels safe and comfortable, and is consenting to the activity at hand.
Safe words should be used to efficiently communicate boundaries during play. When in doubt, use the trusty “traffic light” system:
Time to get to know yourself, inside-out…
The Hanged Man in Tarot symbolises surrender, trust and a flip in perspective. Our focus during sex and intimacy is often projected onto our partner… Are they enjoying what I’m doing? Are they turned on? Do they think I look hot right now? This can lead to a people-pleasing approach to intimacy that puts someone else’s pleasure before our own. But if you don’t even know what pleases you, how do you expect your partner to?
The advice of The Hanged Man is to flip this perspective by turning your attention inwards instead. Are *you* turned on? Do you *feel* sexy? Do *you* feel your own pleasure?
Like the woman in the card who lays bare before her lover, your task is to focus solely on your experience and learn how to listen to your body.
Allow your partner to bind you in a way you are comfortable with. If you’re feeling adventurous, use a blindfold so your other senses are extra sensitive. Then, allow your partner to explore every inch of your body from head-to-toe with their hands, mouth, tongue… Experiment with different positions and sensory play – such as ice, feathers, floggers or other toys… Use the scale of “hot - cold” to convey which areas of your body derive the most pleasure and which are no-no zones, and the scale of “harder - softer” to communicate the intensity of sensation you enjoy in that area.
Take your sweet time to plot every point on your body’s pleasure map, and you are both sure to leave the session with some new discoveries.
Good things cum to those who wait…
The Seven of Pentacles in Tarot symbolises patience and delayed gratification. When we think about sex and intimacy, we might be tempted to “skip to the good part”. But sometimes, sex is only as good as the anticipation leading up to it.
The advice of the Seven of Pentacles is to milk every minute leading up to the final act… if you even need to get there at all. Can you derive pleasure from the journey and not just the destination? Can you enjoy the feeling of arousal and desire in your body without satiating it? Can you allow the tension to build until it’s almost boiling over?
Sex is not just about action, it’s about experience. The lovers in this card show us the sensuality that comes with sexuality… and they’re in no rush to get anywhere.
Set a timer for the session. (I recommend between 30 mins - 1 hour but if you’re extra freaky, this can go all night.) The only rule is: no one is allowed to climax within this timeframe… But the goal is: try to get as close as possible. Take turns to be restrained, while one partner does whatever they please to tease and turn the other on.
Experiment with different positions, body parts and toys… If you’re close to cumming, your duty is to let your partner know so they may turn their attention elsewhere… and start the torture all over again. You should both be feeling ready to burst by the end of the session. If you’re not, that’s your cue to set a longer timer…
If you’re used to being a passenger-seat prince or princess, this is your cue to take the wheel!
The Ace of Swords in Tarot symbolises decisiveness, confidence and taking control. When we feel confident on the inside, it shows on the outside. The woman in this card who mounts her lover reminds us that the source of true power comes from within.
The advice of the Ace of Swords is to take the lead for your own desires by allowing your partner to relax and receive. But with great power, comes great responsibility. Just as you might feel nervous getting into a car with a driver who’s unsure about driving, your partner can only trust you to the degree that you trust yourself.
It’s time to rouse your inner Dom(me) and coax them out to play…
Strap on an accessory that makes you feel tapped into your inner dominance (or strap it onto your partner for… easy handling). Restrain your partner to the degree they are comfortable with. For any ladies who might feel extra shy, we got you covered on how to take command in the bedroom! Take your time to tease them – visually, verbally, sensually… Make sure you feel sexy and confident with every move. You’re not just turning them on, you’re turning yourself on. Explore your bodies with different angles and sensations… Reassure them that their only job is to receive and react, unless instructed otherwise. The idea is to use them to satiate your sexual whims – respectfully, of course.
No risk, no reward… Perhaps you’re ready to stop playing it safe and start living life on the edge?
Strength in Tarot symbolises endurance, willpower and dominion over the self. How much can you take? How long can you go? How good can you make yourself feel? This is an opportunity to get ambitious…
The advice of Strength is to explore your own boundaries, either by yourself or with a partner. Nothing grows in the comfort zone… Like the woman in this card who wrestles with the beast, the idea is to confront your own self-imposed limitations. Draw a line, just to find out what’s on the other side of it.
Give yourself a chance to surprise you. Who knows? You might just find a little thrill in breaking the rules – particularly the ones you set out for yourself.
Restrain your hands behind your back or above your head, and have your partner use your favourite toy on you until you reach climax. If solo, position your toy against you either by kneeling above it or holding it with your hands (restraints optional, but commit to the bit!).
Experiment with different rhythms and sensations. The idea is to not stop after you climax – even if you have to slooow down or switch it up with a different form of stimulation. Keep track of the time or orgasm count. Try to beat your personal best.
Still feel out of your depth? Don’t panic – we’re here to ease you into the world of BDSM. Need more inspiration? We’re happy to share more kinky sex ideas. Too easy? Come get hands-on in Hedonist’s Pleasure Empowerment Workshop and learn about the art of shibari (Japanese rope bondage) straight from an expert!
Having just the right amount of fun? Good. Come back next month for another pick-a-card reading… I’ll be waiting.
April Lexi Lee is like if your local Dominatrix was a Tarot reader. She does Tough Love Tarot readings that help others create more authenticity & intimacy with themselves and others.
The pelvic floor muscles, much like other muscles in the body, don't operate independently. Engaging in exercises that focus on the glutes (buttocks), adductors (inner thighs), transversus abdominis (deep abdominal muscles), and the diaphragm (a major breathing muscle) can be beneficial in improving the strength and stamina of the pelvic floor muscles.
After ensuring that you can correctly contract your pelvic floor muscles and that they aren't excessively tense, you can begin incorporating them into comprehensive body workouts.
If you wish to enhance your pelvic floor muscles, increase your mindfulness and even intensify orgasms, consider incorporating Kegel Balls into your exercise regimen. It's essential to ensure that you don't suffer from overactive pelvic floor muscles, which might manifest as discomfort during intercourse, difficulty inserting tampons, pain in your pelvis, vagina, testicles, or penis during extended periods of sitting, or challenges in bowel movements. If you're free from these issues, Kegel Balls can be a valuable addition to intensify your pelvic floor workouts and boost your training.
When using kegel balls, be sure to use them correctly to maximize their benefits. Avoid placing them too high inside, as they should challenge your pelvic floor muscles rather than just resting on them. Opt for positions that engage the muscles against gravity, like standing or being on your hands and knees. If you experience pelvic or hip pain, it's wise to consult a healthcare professional for a pelvic floor assessment before using weighted vaginal devices. So, remember to exercise safely and enjoy the journey to a healthier pelvic floor!
Featured Writer:
Physio Down Under is Singapore’s first and only pelvic health physiotherapy clinic. With 6 experienced pelvic health physiotherapists, women, men and children are all able to get their pelvic health concerns addressed in a safe, calm and caring environment. Follow their Instagram or Facebook to get their latest news and updates!
Welcome, curious cats and daring adventurers, to the grand buffet of pleasure known as kink! Here in the modern tapestry of love and lust, kink is the glitter that turns the ordinary into extraordinary, transforming whispered desires into epic tales of passion and play. It’s the secret ingredient that makes the heart race, the skin tingle, and the night unforgettable. So, if you're ready to sprinkle some extra spice into your intimate encounters, you've come to the perfect place. Together, we'll embark on a journey of discovery, where safety waltzes with confidence, and desires are not just acknowledged but celebrated with a standing ovation.
What, pray tell, is this mystical realm known as kink? Imagine, if you will, a world where the senses are heightened, where the ordinary becomes extraordinary, and where pleasure is only limited by the boundaries of imagination (and a safe word, of course). Kink is the enchanted forest of sexual exploration, filled with diverse flora and fauna, where paths untrodden await your footsteps. It’s not just about whips and chains (though they have their charm); it’s about exploring a spectrum of desires and fantasies, from the softest caress of a feather to the exhilarating grip of restraints.
Let’s shatter some glass ceilings, shall we? Kink is not the shadowy underbelly of desire, whispered about in hushed tones. It's the vibrant heartbeat of a fulfilling sexual experience for many. The myths? That it’s unsafe, abnormal, or reserved for the "adventurous" few. The truth? Kink is about consensual exploration, communication, and, most importantly, fun! It’s as diverse as the people who enjoy it, embracing everything from light bondage and sensory play to more elaborate scenes, all designed to enhance intimacy and pleasure.
In the grand feast of relationships, kink is the spice that keeps the goulash tantalising with every bite. It invites couples to communicate openly, share their deepest desires, and explore new avenues of pleasure together. By pushing boundaries and exploring new territories, kinks can strengthen bonds, build trust, and keep the flame of passion burning brighter than a bonfire on a crisp autumn night. It’s about turning the mundane into the magical and finding joy in the exploration of one another’s desires.
So, whether you’re a fledgling explorer tentatively testing the waters or a seasoned adventurer ready to dive into the deep end, remember: kink is about joy, exploration, and the celebration of desire in all its forms. With a sprinkle of confidence, a dash of safety, and a whole lot of open communication, the world of kink is your oyster. Let’s crack it open together and discover its pearls of pleasure!
Picture this: You and your partner, cosied up, perhaps post-sex or sipping wine on a lazy Sunday afternoon, and you're itching to sprinkle a little extra... pzazz into your playtime. But how do you broach the topic without turning as red as a beetroot? Fear not, for the art of initiating the kink-versation is easier than you think.
Start with an open-ended question or a cheeky confession. "You know, I read about this thing called [insert kinky idea here], and it piqued my interest. What are your thoughts on trying something new?" Keep it light, keep it flirty, and remember, this is about exploring together, not laying down demands.
If kink were a kingdom, consent would be its reigning monarch. It's the difference between an exhilarating adventure and a trip down a less enjoyable lane. Negotiation isn’t about haggling over the price of pleasure; it’s about openly discussing desires, limits, and boundaries. It's about saying, "Your safety and comfort are my top priority. How can we make this experience amazing for both of us?" This dialogue is the foreplay of the kink world, setting the stage for a trust-filled, thrilling encounter.
The concept of a safe word is as simple as it is essential. It’s a word or phrase that, when uttered, means all play ceases immediately, no questions asked. This isn’t just about halting actions that feel uncomfortable; it’s about ensuring that every step of your kinky journey is consensual and enjoyable. Choosing a safe word can be part of the fun — opt for something utterly unrelated to sex to avoid confusion. "Cucumber", "Zanzibar", or "Banana Hammock" — the more absurd, the easier it'll be to remember in the heat of the moment.
By starting the conversation with openness, prioritising consent, and establishing a safe word, you lay down the plush, velvety carpet on which your kinky explorations can dance freely. Remember, this is about adding vibrancy and variety to your relationship, exploring uncharted territories together, and, most importantly, having a heap of fun. So, take a deep breath, share your desires, and let the games begin!
Welcome to the glossary of kink, where we untangle the web of terms that make the kinky world go round. Understanding these terms is like learning the secret handshake to an exclusive club — it's your in to a world of pleasure, where communication reigns supreme. Let's decode the lingo:
Diving into the dazzling depths of kink can feel like stepping into a whole new world, brimming with potential pleasures and untold adventures. But worry not, intrepid explorers, for navigating these waters can be as thrilling as discovering a hidden treasure trove of pleasure. Let's chart a course through the initial steps into kink, ensuring your journey is not only exhilarating but also safe and satisfying for all involved.
Before setting sail, it's crucial to pack your map of mutual understanding and a compass of consent. Communication is the sextant by which you'll navigate, so start with an open and honest discussion about desires, limits, and expectations. Remember, the seas of kink are vast, and there's no need to explore every isle at once. Start small, establish safe words, and always keep the channels of communication wide open.
The key to weaving kink into your sex life is to keep it fun, consensual, and stress-free. Start with one thing that intrigues you both and build from there. After each adventure, debrief with your partner: discuss what you liked, what you didn't, and what you might want to try next. Remember, there's no 'right' way to be kinky; it's all about what excites and satisfies you and your partner.
Navigating your first steps into kink is like exploring a new cuisine. You don't have to order the spiciest dish on the menu to appreciate the flavours. Start with a dish that piques your interest, and let your palate expand naturally. Take it one bite at a time, savouring each new experience as you explore the boundless possibilities of pleasure.
Transform your space into a haven of hedonism, where every detail adds to the anticipation and excitement of the kinky play ahead. The right setting can turn a simple idea or encounter into an unforgettable adventure, blurring the lines between reality and fantasy, comfort, and thrill. Here’s how to craft your very own pleasure dome:
Ready to dive into the treasure chest of kink? Hedonist Tribe's emporium of excitement awaits, brimming with gadgets and gizmos aplenty, whosits and whatsits galore. But fear not, we're here to guide you through this cave of pleasures, ensuring your first foray into the kinky bazaar is nothing short of spectacular. Here's our top picks to get your toy chest started, laced with cheeky charm and undeniable allure:
Venturing into the realm of kink can be as exciting as it is daunting. It's like dancing a new dance for the first time — you might step on a few toes. Fear not! The path to kinky bliss is paved with lessons learned from every misstep. Here’s how to twirl gracefully through common challenges and faux pas:
Kink can be the water and sunlight that helps relationships grow in beautiful, unexpected ways. It’s about more than the whips and chains; it's about deepening trust, communication, and connection. Here’s how to keep your kinky garden flourishing:
Tantalised by the thought of kink but still not sure of where to start? Or perhaps you’re a seasoned player looking to add more tools to your toybox? Look no further! Hedonist Tribe is thrilled to unveil the curtains to the captivating world of kink with our Intro to Kinks workshop. It’s not just an event; it’s your gateway to a world where pleasure and play intertwine in the most delightful ways.
Age 21+ only, please! Come with an open heart and an open mind, ready to explore the vast universe of kink. While we encourage all forms of curiosity and questions, respect and kindness are the orders of the day. We're all about creating a safe space free from judgement.
As we wrap up this journey through the tantalising world of kink, remember, exploration is the essence of the human spirit. Whether you're just dipping your toes or diving deep into the ocean of kinky ideas, doing so with confidence and care enriches the experience manifold. Hedonist Tribe is here to guide, inspire, and equip you for all the adventures that lie ahead.
May your explorations bring you joy, connection, and an endless array of pleasures. Remember, in the universe of kink, the stars are just the beginning!
Delving into the realm of sexual exploration and discovering new facets of intimacy can spark curiosity and raise queries. Before we sign off, here's some frequently asked questions to provide you with more insights and maybe even spark some fresh inspiration to propel you forward on your exciting kink journey.
Absolutely! Being into kink is like having a taste for spicy food in a world full of flavours. It's a personal preference and a way to explore pleasure, intimacy, and connection. Remember, the key ingredients are consent, communication, and safety. So, spice up your life with confidence!
As normal as pineapple on pizza (controversial, we know)! Having kinks is part of the vast spectrum of human sexuality. Many people enjoy exploring their kinky side as a way to add excitement and depth to their sexual experiences. Embrace your unique tastes!
To "kink out" is to indulge in your kinks or to have a session where you explore these desires. It's the equivalent of letting your kink flag fly high and proud, exploring the realms of pleasure that tickle your fancy.
A BDSM party is a social gathering where individuals interested in BDSM can explore various aspects of kink in a safe, consensual, and often communal setting. Think of it as a playground for adults where respect and consent are the golden rules. To find out more, check out our blog on “What is a BDSM Party?”
When he's tied up, it's your canvas to paint an unforgettable night. Start with a whisper, letting him anticipate what's next. Introduce a mix of sensations — ice cubes trailing down his chest, followed by warm breaths or soft kisses. Experiment with textures; a feather tickler across his skin can send shivers down his spine. The focus is on his reactions; watch for what elicits a gasp or a shudder. Keep communication open, asking teasing questions about his desires, making him feel heard and valued in his vulnerability. Remember, the goal is to explore mutual fantasies safely, making sure to provide aftercare, discussing the experience to deepen your connection.
When she's tied up, create an atmosphere of trust and exploration. Use this opportunity to explore her senses; a blindfold can heighten every touch, every word. Gently explore her body with various textures, from silk to soft fur, observing her reactions to find what she enjoys most. Incorporate soft music or whispered affirmations to build a connection. It's essential to maintain open communication, ensuring she feels safe and cherished. Aftercare becomes a crucial part of the experience, offering warmth and closeness as you untie her, and sharing feelings and thoughts about the experience to strengthen your bond.
Praise kink involves verbal affirmation, compliments, or expressions of approval during sexual activities. Tell your partner how good they are, how much they please you, or how much you enjoy what they’re doing. It's about positive reinforcement and making them feel desired and appreciated. For more examples, check out our blog on “Praise Kink 101: Turn On Phrases & More”.
Kinks are often deep-seated desires, but how you engage with them can evolve over time. If a kink no longer serves you or your relationship, it's perfectly okay to explore other aspects of your sexuality. Remember, sexual preferences can be fluid and ever-changing.
Explore BDSM play parties and munches with our guide, covering etiquette, preparation, and the significance of consent and community in the BDSM world.
In the world of sexual exploration, the realm of dominance is not limited to men. Women can be just as assertive, confident, and commanding in the bedroom. Embracing your inner domme can lead to exhilarating experiences of power and pleasure, both for you and your partner. So, if you're ready to take charge and explore your dominant side, here's a guide to help you unleash your sexual dominance in bed.
It's all about taking the lead, setting the tempo, and controlling an experience that leaves you and your partner(s) breathless with excitement. Think of it as tapping into your inner domme and unleashing your wildest fantasies with confidence and flair. From playful teasing to commanding control, sexual dominance is about exploring your desires, embracing your power, and creating moments of intense pleasure that leave you feeling empowered and fulfilled.
Being in control can:
Being dominant isn't just about calling the shots—it's also about nurturing trust, creating a safe space for experimentation, and ensuring that everyone aboard feels valued and respected. Whether they're setting scenes or dishing out commands, the dominant's role is to elevate the experience and leave everyone aboard floating on a cloud of pleasure.
Talking about desires ensures both partners understand each other's preferences and boundaries, fostering trust and intimacy for a more satisfying experience.
Hot Tip: Add some spice by turning it into a date night affair. Try asking each other intimate questions over dinner or break the ice with a fun conversation starter card game.
It’s not just a visual treat that plays into your partner's fantasies; it also gives you the confidence boost to feel sexy and empowered!
Hot Tip: Consider role-play outfits, sexy lingerie, or daring latex attire. And for that extra touch of sass, throw on some red lipstick, high heels and a cheeky spank paddle to perfect your fiesty ensemble!
Embracing dominance means taking charge with confidence. This not only exudes power but also instills trust and safety in your submissive partner, helping them fully embrace their role.
Hot Tip: Start with simple commands (eg. “on your knees now!”) or a little hair-pulling to help your partner feel your sense of authority. From your demeanour, posture, and tone to every command—aim for conviction and firmness.
This act reinforces your power and control, putting you in a position of authority where they focus on pleasing you and fulfilling your desires.
Hot Tip: Invite your partner to explore your body with their hands, enjoying slow, passionate caresses. Offer them the opportunity to kiss every inch of your body or give you a sensual massage.
With sensory deprivation, it enhances the power dynamics, elevating anticipation and even arousal! It also allows the submissive partner to concentrate solely on the dominant's instructions, intensifying their surrender.
Hot Tip: Adding bondage essentials like a blindfold or cuffs, you can indulge in teasing, stroking, and spanking your partner with full control over their pleasure.
Watching your partner surrender control can be incredibly arousing! It also empowers you to guide the encounter, dictating its pace, intensity, and amplifying overall enjoyment!
Empowering sex positions for a woman on top, asserting dominance in the bedroom, include:
1. Cowgirl: The woman straddles her partner, giving her control over the rhythm and depth of penetration.
2. Reverse Cowgirl: Similar to the cowgirl position, but facing away from her partner, allowing her to control the angle and intensity.
3. Lotus: The woman sits on her partner's lap with legs crossed while facing each other, giving her control over the pace and closeness.
4. Amazon: The woman kneels over her partner, who is lying down, allowing her to dictate the speed and depth of penetration.
5. Face Sitting: The woman sits on her partner's face, giving her control over the pleasure and intensity of oral stimulation.
These positions empower women to take charge and assert their dominance in the bedroom, leading to a more fulfilling sexual experience for both partners.
This brings a mix of mental and physical control to the sexual dynamic, amping up the excitement and anticipation. Extending the buildup can really ramp up their climax, making for an intense toe-curling experience!
Hot Tip: Edge your partner close to the finish line then hit the breaks. Repeat this cycle multiple times and watch your partner beg for your touch to fulfill their insatiable desires.
Dominance is all about taking the lead with confidence and respect, guiding the action with finesse and charm. It's about asserting your desires in a playful and consensual way, creating an atmosphere of excitement and anticipation.
On the other hand, aggression is like a bull in a china shop – it's forceful and disruptive. It disregards boundaries, lacks finesse, and can leave everyone feeling uncomfortable and unsafe from the lack of consent.
BDSM safety and consent is the number one thing to look out for when delving into the world of kink and should always be at the back of your mind as you play out your roles. And if you're not sure where to even begin, here's our guide to BDSM play.
To sum it off, embracing your sexual dominance can be a liberating and empowering experience for women. By knowing your desires, communicating with confidence, and exploring power dynamics, you can unleash your inner domme and create unforgettable experiences of pleasure and intimacy in the bedroom. So, go ahead – take the reins and let your dominant side shine!
Looking to dip your toes into the world of kink? Check out our Intro To Kink Workshop and get insider tips & tricks from a seasoned kink experts.
