Because sometimes, sitting on someone’s face is the confidence boost you didn’t know you needed.

Yes, I know, just saying it out loud can feel a little woah, but trust me, once you get past the initial awkwardness, face-sitting (aka queening or throne play) is one of the most empowering, intimate, and spine-tingling things you can try in the bedroom. 

Whether you’ve been curious but cautious, or someone recently whispered “you should try queening” into your ear (and now you’re here), this guide’s got you covered. I’ll be breaking it all down: what face-sitting actually is, why people are obsessed with it, how to do it without crushing anyone, and tips for feeling confident while doing it. Let’s dive in.

What Is Face-Sitting (or Queening)?

As the name suggests, face-sitting is exactly what it sounds like, being bare-ass naked and taking a seat on someone’s face. The person on top straddles or sits over their partner’s face to receive oral pleasure. While technically anyone can try it, this position is most commonly enjoyed by vulva-owners, especially when they’re in the mood to fully receive.

In the BDSM scene, this famous move is also known as “queening”, because what’s more royal than a femme domme claiming her throne and being worshipped like the goddess she is in a classic dom/sub dynamic.

But here’s the thing, you don’t have to be kinky to get into it. Face-sitting can be flirty, filthy, or  just a fresh way to spice up your foreplay routine.

PS: It’s not just for queens. When a penis-owner takes the seat, it can also be called “kinging.”

Why Do People Love Face-Sitting?

Aside from it being insanely hot! Face-sitting offers a mix of physical pleasure, visual intensity, and emotional connection. There’s so much appeal to it but here’s why some people love it so much:

• Power Play: One partner takes control, the other surrenders. It’s a dom/sub dream that blends dominance, submission, and pure erotic tension.
  
  
• Intense Oral Stimulation: For the giver (on top), the close contact with your genitals creates stronger, deeper sensations.
  
  
• Confidence Boost: Being on top feels empowering, sexy, and bold
  
  
• Sensory Overload: For the receiver (on the bottom), it’s a steamy mix of body heat, pressure, scent and taste all in one steamy package
  
  
• Intimacy and Trust: It’s raw, vulnerable, and can bring partners closer than ever, both physically and emotionally.
  
  

How to Initiate Queening (Without Feeling Awkward)

If you’re new to it, here’s a gentle, practical way to ease in:

1. Talk About It First

Before you claim your throne, get clear about the fantasy. What about face-sitting turns you on? Is it the power? The closeness? The view from the top? Whatever it is, think of it as part of the foreplay. Tease it, drop it into conversation, or make it part of the build-up. Here are some examples to match your personality:

Casual & Curious (For when you’re feeling flirty but chill):

• “So… I’ve been fantasizing about sitting on your face, wanna try it together?
  
• “Do you want to try something that might ruin you for regular kissing?”
  
• “I’ve been exploring some new things I’d love to try. Ever been face-sat on?”
  
• “No pressure, but I think you’d be really good at letting me ride your mouth.”
  
• “What if I just… made myself comfortable on your face?”

Bold & Direct (For when you’re done playing small):

• “You said you wanted to serve me. Start with your mouth.”
  
• “I’m dripping for your mouth. Don’t waste it.”
  
• “You make such a pretty throne for me.”
  
• “Don’t move. I’m going to ride your face until I shake.”
  
• “I want to feel your tongue under me while I tell you exactly how I like it.”

Cheeky, Text-Ready One-Liners (Perfect for dropping into your partner’s DMs or whispering into their ear):

• “Your face looks like it’s got my name written all over it…”
• “Tonight, I’d like to assume the position: seated on your face.”
• “Ever heard of queening? Asking for a friend. (The friend is me.)”
• “Might ride your face like it owes me rent.”
• “I want to feel your moans against me.”

If saying it out loud feels intimidating, ease into it by trying this:

“I read about this thing called queening…”

Sometimes all it takes is planting the seed and seeing where the conversation takes you.

2. Exploring Positions

Ready to take your pleasure to new heights? Whether you’re easing into it or going full queen mode, there’s a face-sitting position for every comfort level and mood. Here are a few popular queening variations to try:

Hovering Queen

This is the go-to beginner face-sitting position. Stay on your knees above your partner’s face with light pressure, using your thigh muscles to support your weight.

Perfect if you’re still getting comfortable or worried about putting too much pressure down.

Pro tip: Keep your hands on the wall, headboard, or bed for balance and let your partner guide you with their mouth or hands.

Classic Sit

Sit fully on your partner’s face with your knees planted on either side of their head. This position allows for deeper contact and stronger sensations.

Add a pillow under their head for comfort and support your balance with your hands—whether that’s on the headboard, their chest, or the wall.

Pro tip: When you want to feel fully in control and are ready to claim your throne with confidence.

Reverse Face-Sit

Turn around so you’re facing away from your partner, giving them a full view from behind. This position often allows for deeper oral stimulation and gives you more control over how much pressure and movement you want.

Bonus: It reduces eye contact, perfect if you’re feeling a little shy but still want to fully enjoy the queening experience.

Pro tip: Gently grab the headboard or rest your hands on their thighs for balance—and if you’re feeling cheeky, look back over your shoulder for a little extra tease.

Standing Queen

Stand tall while your partner kneels or sits in front of you, mouth level with your pelvis. Guide them in close as you hold onto a stable surface (like a wall, chair, or headboard) for balance. This position is perfect for a power-packed oral session.

Bonus: It’s great for quickies, shower sessions, or anyone who prefers not putting full weight on their partner.

Pro tip: Slightly bend one knee or place a foot on a low surface to shift angles for better access and comfort. Maintain eye contact if you’re feeling bold—or pull their hair in for an extra bit of dominance.

3. Safe Words Are a Must

Face-sitting might look playful (and it is!), but it also involves trust and control especially when your partner’s mouth is busy and verbal communication isn’t always possible.

That’s why having a clear, agreed-upon safe word or signal is essential. Many couples use a simple traffic light system:

• 🟢 Green = keep going
  
  
• 🟡 Yellow = slow down
  
  
• 🔴 Red = stop immediately

If you want something hands-free, go with a nonverbal signal like a double tap on your thigh. Easy, clear, and effective.

Pro tip: Don’t skip this step. Clear boundaries = more confidence, deeper connection, and way better sex. When safety is in place, you’re both free to fully let go and enjoy the moment.

Real Talk: Common Worries (and Reassurances)

“What if I crush them?”

You’re not going to. You can always hover or use your legs to distribute weight. Most partners are more than happy to be under you.

“What if I smell or taste weird?”

This is way more common as a concern than a reality. Clean up if that helps your confidence, but remember—your partner wants to taste you.

“It feels too vulnerable.”

That’s okay. Go slow. Turn off the lights, try reverse, or keep a light blanket around your hips at first. Vulnerability can be powerful when met with safety and care.

Your Throne Awaits

Face-sitting isn’t just a sex act, it’s a power move. It’s about receiving pleasure unapologetically, owning your body, and letting go. Whether you see it as queening, worship, or just a deliciously intimate position, you deserve to explore it on your own terms.

Ready to take the throne?