Discover the best ways to use a cock ring sex toy for enhanced penis pleasure and lasting erections. Maximize your orgasm potential with our essential tips for safe, satisfying play.

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June is a month where we celebrate love, in all waves, shapes and forms. Be unapologetically you! So, no matter what your sexuality or preference may be, we're here to share six of our best LGBTQIA+ toys to help spice up your sex life!

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Explore Your Erotic Blueprint with Tantra Tarot What makes you tick? What stirs your desire? What arouses your appetite? Your erotic blueprint is like a cheat code to turning you on… In this pick-a-card reading, we will explore how each erotic blueprint can provide a clear and concise code to decoding your desires.

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Discover the ultimate BDSM thrill and learn to maximize pleasure with 8 of the best spreader bar positions! Explore creative ways to use a spreader bar to enhance your sex life for an unforgettable experience.

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Discover the art of edging to enhance your sexual experiences. Learn effective solo and partner techniques for prolonged and intensified climaxes.

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Unlock Your Desires with Tantra Tarot

What if being bound was actually a portal into liberation? 

Whether the sight of cuffs & chains excites you or sends shivers down your spine, bondage doesn’t have to be as intimidating as it might appear… 

In this pick-a-card reading, we will explore how the use of bondage can not only spice up your sex life, but also be a tool to uncover your hidden desires. Just like how limitations can free us up to get creative, physical restraints introduced by bondage can challenge us to open our minds during sexual exploration…

How to play: 

1. Envision incorporating bondage into your kink/sex life or personal intimacy rituals.

2. What setting makes you feel comfortable and aroused?

3. Who makes you feel safe?

4. How intense do you picture the play to be?

5. Then, pick a card that you are most drawn to or are curious about.

6. Scroll down to read your corresponding kinky assignment  

7. Play safe and happy bonding ;)

Disclaimer:

When embarking on any sexual expedition, remember to consistently check-in with your partner. Make sure everyone feels safe and comfortable, and is consenting to the activity at hand. 

Safe words should be used to efficiently communicate boundaries during play. When in doubt, use the trusty “traffic light” system: 

• “green” for good to go
• “yellow” for slow down or take a break
• “red” for stop all play and move into aftercare
  

The Hanged Man - Bondage as a trust-building sexercise…

Time to get to know yourself, inside-out…

The Hanged Man in Tarot symbolises surrender, trust and a flip in perspective. Our focus during sex and intimacy is often projected onto our partner… Are they enjoying what I’m doing? Are they turned on? Do they think I look hot right now? This can lead to a people-pleasing approach to intimacy that puts someone else’s pleasure before our own. But if you don’t even know what pleases you, how do you expect your partner to? 

The advice of The Hanged Man is to flip this perspective by turning your attention inwards instead. Are *you* turned on? Do you *feel* sexy? Do *you* feel your own pleasure?

Like the woman in the card who lays bare before her lover, your task is to focus solely on your experience and learn how to listen to your body.

Suggested sextivity: The Body Map

Allow your partner to bind you in a way you are comfortable with. If you’re feeling adventurous, use a blindfold so your other senses are extra sensitive. Then, allow your partner to explore every inch of your body from head-to-toe with their hands, mouth, tongue… Experiment with different positions and sensory play – such as ice, feathers, floggers or other toys… Use the scale of “hot - cold” to convey which areas of your body derive the most pleasure and which are no-no zones, and the scale of “harder - softer” to communicate the intensity of sensation you enjoy in that area. 

Take your sweet time to plot every point on your body’s pleasure map, and you are both sure to leave the session with some new discoveries.

Seven of Pentacles - Bondage as foreplay and teasing…

Good things cum to those who wait… 

The Seven of Pentacles in Tarot symbolises patience and delayed gratification. When we think about sex and intimacy, we might be tempted to “skip to the good part”. But sometimes, sex is only as good as the anticipation leading up to it. 

The advice of the Seven of Pentacles is to milk every minute leading up to the final act… if you even need to get there at all. Can you derive pleasure from the journey and not just the destination? Can you enjoy the feeling of arousal and desire in your body without satiating it? Can you allow the tension to build until it’s almost boiling over?

Sex is not just about action, it’s about experience. The lovers in this card show us the sensuality that comes with sexuality… and they’re in no rush to get anywhere.

Suggested sextivity: The Time-Out

Set a timer for the session. (I recommend between 30 mins - 1 hour but if you’re extra freaky, this can go all night.) The only rule is: no one is allowed to climax within this timeframe… But the goal is: try to get as close as possible. Take turns to be restrained, while one partner does whatever they please to tease and turn the other on. 

Experiment with different positions, body parts and toys… If you’re close to cumming, your duty is to let your partner know so they may turn their attention elsewhere… and start the torture all over again. You should both be feeling ready to burst by the end of the session. If you’re not, that’s your cue to set a longer timer…

Ace of Swords - Bondage as empowerment…

If you’re used to being a passenger-seat prince or princess, this is your cue to take the wheel!

The Ace of Swords in Tarot symbolises decisiveness, confidence and taking control. When we feel confident on the inside, it shows on the outside. The woman in this card who mounts her lover reminds us that the source of true power comes from within. 

The advice of the Ace of Swords is to take the lead for your own desires by allowing your partner to relax and receive. But with great power, comes great responsibility. Just as you might feel nervous getting into a car with a driver who’s unsure about driving, your partner can only trust you to the degree that you trust yourself.

It’s time to rouse your inner Dom(me) and coax them out to play…

Suggested sextivity: Use Me, Respectfully

Strap on an accessory that makes you feel tapped into your inner dominance (or strap it onto your partner for… easy handling). Restrain your partner to the degree they are comfortable with. For any ladies who might feel extra shy, we got you covered on how to take command in the bedroom! Take your time to tease them – visually, verbally, sensually… Make sure you feel sexy and confident with every move. You’re not just turning them on, you’re turning yourself on. Explore your bodies with different angles and sensations… Reassure them that their only job is to receive and react, unless instructed otherwise. The idea is to use them to satiate your sexual whims – respectfully, of course.

Strength - Bondage as a way to push your limits…

No risk, no reward… Perhaps you’re ready to stop playing it safe and start living life on the edge?

Strength in Tarot symbolises endurance, willpower and dominion over the self. How much can you take? How long can you go? How good can you make yourself feel? This is an opportunity to get ambitious…

The advice of Strength is to explore your own boundaries, either by yourself or with a partner. Nothing grows in the comfort zone… Like the woman in this card who wrestles with the beast, the idea is to confront your own self-imposed limitations. Draw a line, just to find out what’s on the other side of it. 

Give yourself a chance to surprise you. Who knows? You might just find a little thrill in breaking the rules – particularly the ones you set out for yourself.

Suggested sextivity: Sorry, Cum Again?

Restrain your hands behind your back or above your head, and have your partner use your favourite toy on you until you reach climax. If solo, position your toy against you either by kneeling above it or holding it with your hands (restraints optional, but commit to the bit!). 

Experiment with different rhythms and sensations. The idea is to not stop after you climax – even if you have to slooow down or switch it up with a different form of stimulation. Keep track of the time or orgasm count. Try to beat your personal best.

Conclusion 

Still feel out of your depth? Don’t panic – we’re here to ease you into the world of BDSM. Need more inspiration? We’re happy to share more kinky sex ideas. Too easy? Come get hands-on in Hedonist’s Pleasure Empowerment Workshop and learn about the art of shibari (Japanese rope bondage) straight from an expert!

Having just the right amount of fun? Good. Come back next month for another pick-a-card reading… I’ll be waiting. 

April Lexi Lee is like if your local Dominatrix was a Tarot reader. She does Tough Love Tarot readings that help others create more authenticity & intimacy with themselves and others.

 

“Someone’s not getting enough sex.” A common joke made by people who have noticed that someone might be snappier or more irritable, or maybe just peeling the labels off their drink bottle. Jokes aside, is there any credence to the joke? 

But have you heard of skin hunger? Or skin starvation? What’s the different between the two? Do you need a hug? Or do you need some sexual healing? We aim to answer all these sexual wellness questions today. 

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Ever wondered how deep the rabbit hole of human desire goes? Spoiler alert: it's deeper than you might think! In the vast kinky-verse, there's a labyrinth of unique tastes and preferences waiting to be discovered. Lets unravel 20 kinks and fetishes that probably weren't on your radar... until now!

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The pelvic floor muscles, much like other muscles in the body, don't operate independently. Engaging in exercises that focus on the glutes (buttocks), adductors (inner thighs), transversus abdominis (deep abdominal muscles), and the diaphragm (a major breathing muscle) can be beneficial in improving the strength and stamina of the pelvic floor muscles. 

After ensuring that you can correctly contract your pelvic floor muscles and that they aren't excessively tense, you can begin incorporating them into comprehensive body workouts.

The following are common exercises that target the above mentioned muscle groups:

    1. Squats

• Stand with your feet hip width apart, consciously relax your pelvic floor muscles first with a belly breath.
• As you sit back into your squat, exhale and engage your pelvic floor (‘lifting the jelly bean with your vagina’ or ‘lift your nuts to your guts’) and keep your pelvic floor switched on as you rise up from the squat.
• Relax your pelvic floor muscles again once you are back in standing. 
• Remember, pelvic floor muscles need to ‘move’ so they can create more force, rather than continuously clenching them throughout the exercise.
•  Build up your endurance gradually by aiming to do 3 sets of 15 reps with some pulses at the end of each set. 
• Do your pelvic floor pulses (10 reps of fast contractions) whilst holding the squat position, try doing short and sharp exhales each time you squeeze and lift your pelvic floor muscles, but remember: you must relax the muscles in between each contraction.
  

  
  2. Lunges

• Relax your pelvic floor muscles and take a belly breath 
• Exhale and contract your pelvic floor muscles as you lunge 
• Inhale and relax the pelvic floor muscles as you return to the start position. 
• After 10-12 repetitions on each side, hold the lunge position and, again, do your pelvic floor muscle pulses for a count of 10. Do 3 sets of 10-12 repetitions on each side.

  
  3. Glute bridges with adductor (inner thigh) squeezes 

• Lying on your back, knees bent and feet flat on the ground. 
• You can place a pilates resistance circle or a soft and small pilates ball between your knees (this adds more resistance for your inner thigh muscles). 
• At the start, relax and take a belly breath, exhale and engage your pelvic floor muscles as you lift your hips off the floor and squeeze your inner thighs together into the ball or pilates circle. 
• As you return to the start position, fully relax your pelvic floor muscles. 
• Do 3 sets of 10 repetitions with pulses at the end of each set. 
• With each pulse, hold the glute bridge position and maintain your inner thighs squeeze but slightly release the tension by dropping your hips a fraction and releasing the inner thigh squeeze, at the same time allow the pelvic floor muscles to relax and quickly squeeze/lift them again (with an exhale of course!). 
• Do the pulses for 10 counts and fully relax before you do the next set.
  

  
  4. Planks 

• The most important aspect of integrating your pelvic floor muscles into planks is to focus on your breathing and awareness of tension and relaxation of your pelvic floor muscles. 
• It’s also important to consider your lower and deep abdominal muscles (transversus abdominis) while planking. If you cannot feel these muscles ‘working’ during a plank hold, try placing your knees down on the ground first and holding a plank in an easier position. 
• As you inhale, let your pelvic floor and abdominal muscles gently relax or ‘let go’ and on exhale ‘lift and draw those muscles up and in’, keep repeating this through the breathing cycle as you hold the position. 
• Make sure you do not over arch your lower back, flare your ribs or drop into your shoulder blades. It can be helpful if you can do this whilst checking yourself out sideways in a mirror. 
• The objective here is to let your pelvic floor move gently up and down with your diaphragm as you breathe in and out. A deep long inhale in a plank position will feel hard to sustain, so aim to shorten your inhale a bit and make the exhale a little longer as you engage and lift those deep core muscles. 

If you wish to enhance your pelvic floor muscles, increase your mindfulness and even intensify orgasms, consider incorporating Kegel Balls into your exercise regimen. It's essential to ensure that you don't suffer from overactive pelvic floor muscles, which might manifest as discomfort during intercourse, difficulty inserting tampons, pain in your pelvis, vagina, testicles, or penis during extended periods of sitting, or challenges in bowel movements. If you're free from these issues, Kegel Balls can be a valuable addition to intensify your pelvic floor workouts and boost your training.

 

When using kegel balls, be sure to use them correctly to maximize their benefits. Avoid placing them too high inside, as they should challenge your pelvic floor muscles rather than just resting on them. Opt for positions that engage the muscles against gravity, like standing or being on your hands and knees. If you experience pelvic or hip pain, it's wise to consult a healthcare professional for a pelvic floor assessment before using weighted vaginal devices. So, remember to exercise safely and enjoy the journey to a healthier pelvic floor!

Featured Writer:
Physio Down Under is Singapore’s first and only pelvic health physiotherapy clinic. With 6 experienced pelvic health physiotherapists, women, men and children are all able to get their pelvic health concerns addressed in a safe, calm and caring environment. Follow their Instagram or Facebook to get their latest news and updates! 

Welcome to your ultimate guide to beginner-friendly LGBTQ+ sex toys! From wand vibrators, non-vibrating masturbators, to anal toys, our curated list of body-safe silicone and glass adult toys are suitable for non-binary people and transwomen (with penises), as well as those Post-Vaginoplasty!

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Normally every toy comes with a cleaning or care instruction in its packaging. But if you’ve already tossed away the packaging in excitement to get down and naughty, fret not. Here are 5 best tips for you to keep your sex toys, safe and performing at its best each time.

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First off what is the Orgasm Gap?
It's defined as "the disparity in orgasms between cisgender men and women".

Let's look at a study on respondents who "always or usually orgasm" during sex.

Source: Frederick, D.A., John, H.K.S., Garcia, J.R. et al. Differences in Orgasm Frequency Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Men and Women in a U.S. National Sample. Arch Sex Behav 47, 273–288 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-017-0939-z

Almost 9 out of 10 (95%) straight men usually orgasm during partnered sex compared to roughly 6 out of 10 (65%) straight women.

Yikes! That's a 30% difference!

While almost 8 out of 10 (86%) homosexual women usually orgasm during sex!

Why Is This Happening?

1. THE UNKNOWN FEMALE ANATOMY

When it comes to identifying and describing the functions of the vulva, many are unclear on how the different parts work (including vulva owners!).

2. POOR MEDIA REPRESENTATION

Porn and mainstream media often show unrealistic scenes of women having mind-blowing orgasms from penetrative sex alone.

3. STUD VS SLUT NARRATIVE

The truth is women are judged more harshly for engaging in casual sex or even masturbation. This ‘slut-shaming’ makes it harder for women to speak up and own their pleasure, leading to them neglecting their needs and desires.

Did you know that 80% of women do not climax through penetration alone?

How Do We Close The Gap?

1. GET CLITERATE

It's almost a given, but educating yourself on the female anatomy can empower you to guide your partner around it, increasing your pleasure and their confidence. It also helps to research the different ways for a woman to orgasm, it ain’t just about putting the P in the V.

Hot tip: read articles, search for online courses, or attend workshops to enrich your knowledge!

2. EMBRACE YOUR SEXUALITY

It’s not always easy to express your sexuality especially if you’ve been taught that it's a ‘taboo’. Redefine what pleasure means to you, share your discoveries with your partner, and have open conversations surrounding sex and pleasure.

Female pleasure is a natural and healthy thing and we should normalize it.

Hot tip: communicate your needs and keep an open mind when listening or expressing your deepest desires with your partner.

3. ALL HANDS ON DECK

Take time to experiment, explore and understand your body, learn what you like, and have fun with it! The more you practice self-pleasure, the better you get at knowing what gets you off and it also helps to increase blood flow to your genitals resulting in easier orgasms!

Hot tip: try different positions, change up your routine, or even try using a sex toy!

We ain’t here to point fingers at any gender but to send the message that there are ways around this inequality in the bedroom and we most certainly can close the gap with education! 💪🏻