Gary Chapman wrote a book 30 years ago 'The Five Love Languages' which altered the way people viewed relationships. His model states that everyone gives and receives love in different ways, most of which fall into 5 categories:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Quality time
- Physical touch
- Receiving gifts
How Does It Link To Better Sex?
Understanding your partner's love language - or languages - is the best way to find common ground and communicate your needs within the relationship.
By curating foreplay to fit the individuality of your partner, you are using the most effective ways to their heart, making you both feel more satisfied when it comes to sex.
The 5 Love Languages
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
People who enjoy words of affirmation respond well to verbal expressions of love and affection.
You can compliment them on how amazing they are at pleasing you, let them know how much they turn you on, and do not hold back on those sensual moans, it will only excite your partner to give you more.
Hot Tip: Try dirty talking, it's a surefire way to get anyone in the mood: “Do you know how hot you look between my legs, lying just like that?”
ACTS OF SERVICE
For people who enjoy acts of service, actions truly speak louder than words. They want to feel like their needs are taken care of (without having to ask).
Your partner is hungry for you to please them. Tease them with a sensual oil massage, and engage in longer foreplay. Or even doing something non-sexual like cleaning the house or cooking a nice meal to put their mind at ease.
Hot Tip: Focus on their needs without having to expect anything in return.
People who respond to quality time value their partner's undivided attention both physically and emotionally.
Uninterrupted time together is key. Consider clearing out a day to get intimate, so you can take things slow and really make the moments last. Showing attention with the little ways possible will make the most impact for them.
Hot Tip: Explore your partner's body sensually and slowly, make eye contact, stroke their hair, and spoon them (make them feel seen).
Those who enjoy physical touch need skin-on-skin contact in order to feel love and affection.
That being said, it's not just about sex. While sex is undeniably a significant aspect of an intimate relationship, a warm hug, shoulder squeeze, handhold, or even a rub on the back can also be just as meaningful to your partner.
Hot Tip: Infuse meaning with each touch. Allow your hands to stroke and roam all over, try a little spanking and even exploring their body with your tongue or other parts.
With this love language, your partner feels loved when they receive a gift from you.
While it may be tempting to judge this love language as materialistic, fact is, it's not about the extravagance, it's showing how much you know about what your partner likes.
Hot Tip: If you're feeling adventurous and looking to explore something new, why not try gifting a sex toy! It can enhance your sex life and might just be the gift that keeps on giving.