I surprised myself when I bought the Hedonist Poseidon. I never assumed that I would be one of the guys who would want a male sex toy/masturbator/penis pump, whatever you want to call it. But I'm really glad I took the plunge with the Poseidon 'cos it's been a heck of a wild ride!
Before I get into the details of my experience, let's just make one thing clear: the sensation of using the Poseidon is as real as I could have imagined a device could be without the use of some crazy futuristic immersive AI. It really is one of the best sex toys for men that has ever been created!
Personal experience using the Hedonist Poseidon
It floored me how close to the sensation of actual intercourse using the Hedonist Poseidon turned out to be. And not just like any intimate experience with any partner, but with one who is actually skilled at using their internal muscles to coax every last bit out of you. It's almost scary how satisfying using this masturbator was!
So, if nothing else, take this away from my review today: the Poseidon gives you as real an experience as you can have if you’re going solo.
I think much of the realism of the experience stems from the feel of the material that is in contact with your throbbing flesh. Materials technology has apparently advanced by leaps and bounds because, when you close your eyes and imagine yourself with someone, the hyper-realistic silicone ‘skin’ just does that much to complete the fantasy.
That said, remember that it’s an inanimate object and not your partner, who you’ve been teasing the whole evening with little nips and kisses – lubrication is necessary!
One of the reasons I love the Hedonist Poseidon is that its range of preprogrammed movements is so diverse. There is basic rotation at 3 speeds, both clockwise and counterclockwise. Then, there is alternating clockwise-counterclockwise rotation. Finally, there is a ‘pulse’ rotation in alternating directions, making up 7 rotation modes.
And if you think this isn’t enough to bust your load, there are also 7 suction modes that simulate different types of oral pleasure! For the ultimate pleasurable experience, the deft silicone ‘tongue’ at the end of the cavity will tease the ultra-sensitive head of your member to climax.
All of these individually would already make for a very immersive experience but used together… just wow! It’s like having a tireless oral aficionado pulling out every trick in the book just for you, for as long as you will have them. How can you say no to that? (I wouldn’t know)
All that magic is made all the more wondrous once you use the feature that gives the Poseidon its name – water suction.
The water suction feature in the Hedonist Poseidon is quite ingenious. It helps create a sensation of ‘fullness’ of texture that completely and very snugly envelopes your hardness. The softness of water coupled with the pressure generated by the suction so closely resembles silky slick walls ready for the taking (no matter where you imagine yourself inserting your hardness) that it will propel your fantasy into the heady realm of exquisite realism. Add water warmed to just the right temperature and you’ll be flailing in ecstasy before long.
I am so spent whenever I use this!
Keeping it on the down low
I would say that the Hedonist Poseidon is a bit of a hefty device, clocking in as it does at 621 grams. The Hedonist penis pump is also almost a foot long and with a diameter of 8 cm, so there is no hiding this bad boy when you are trying to use it.
The other thing to note is that the motor that drives the rotation and suction is clearly audible as it toils away. Sure, those alternating, pulsing motor noises could be anything behind a closed door but prepare a good story to cover for yourself if someone does get curious when you emerge from your room with a happy, sheepish look on your face.
Practical things I learned about using the Poseidon
So, with this being my first penis pump, I was quite unsure about what to do right from the start. I thought I had plugged it in to charge but it turned out that I hadn’t pushed the connector all the way into the female charging port (wow, so ironic) the first time I wanted to use it. Make sure to avoid that error both with the Hedonist Poseidon and in real life.
Water, water everywhere but please do not drink. The water suction mode in the Hedonist Poseidon is one of the best features of this Fleshlight alternative. That said, it can be a bit tricky to learn to use it without too much leakage.
The manual recommends that you use it in the washroom and I couldn't agree more. I suggest laying some towels out in your bathtub (to avoid the vibe-killing cold touch of enamel on your flesh) and using it there because it really does make for a better experience when you can just lay back instead of having to sit up or stand (your legs will be jelly when you finish).
As it is with real life encounters, there is always a clean-up. Fortunately, this masturbator makes things easy with its fully removable sleeve. Making things even easier is the clever design, which allows you to turn it inside-out to give it a thorough clean without too much effort. This sex vibrator is certified IPX7, meaning that it’s fully waterproof. If you have a ‘spillage’ incident, as I sometimes did when enjoying myself tooooo much, you’ll be glad for that ability.
I’ll finish off by repeating what I said earlier: this penis pump is one of the best sex toys for men out there. Whether you are looking for fun, different, real but practical gifts for your husband, a birthday gift for him or just a Fleshlight-like masturbator, the Hedonist Poseidon easily earns its place at the head of the line.
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