Unfortunately, sometimes our relationships can cause us harm. When love turns toxic, it can be extremely difficult to escape. Abusive behaviours can be hard to spot, especially when we feel strongly about the person who is hurting us.
If your partner is consistently sabotaging your wellbeing, then this isn’t love.
If you are involved in a relationship that is making you fell less than your true self, don’t ignore your feelings. You are worthy of good care and genuine authenticity. You don’t deserve abuse, no matter what the circumstances might be.
Here are 5 steps you can take to safely break things off for good from a toxic partner:
1. Find a safe support source
Before you break things off, set up a support system. Let trusted friends and family know what you’re planning so they can keep you safe. Arrange for somewhere new to stay if you live with your toxic partner, and consider your social media privacy settings also. Laying strong foundations now will pay off later on.
2. Make your feelings clear, then cut contact
Break ups can often be messy and drawn out. Breaking up with a toxic partner can be extremely depleting. Don’t engage in any mind games they offer up. State your position in person or on the phone, then end communication for good. Short, sharp clarity is vital.
3. Take back your power
Toxic relationships strip us of our self love. Rediscover your value and spend time with friends that make you feel good, start a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try, or hold a pamper evening. Whatever it is, make sure it makes you feel good. Then do more of it!
4. Make wellbeing your best friend.
Feeling delicate is normal for any break up, but especially after suffering a toxic one. You are still healing from what has been an injury to your life. Make your mental health a priority by creating a self care routine - and stick to it.
5. Focus on forward motion
In the months after the break up you might have weaker days and moments when you feel tempted to contact your ex. This is habit talking, not love. Resist temptation to see how they’re doing and instead make future plans to look forward to. Don’t look back - you’re not going that way!
Relationships should help us feel good about ourselves. They should support us in achieving our dreams and ambitions. If someone is making you feel unworthy or unwanted, then this shows much more about their character than it does about yours.
Let go of the person who is pulling you down to let someone brilliant eventually come and fill their place. In the mean time, focus on self love as your main priority. You’re worth loving!
Do you need further support to leave your toxic partner?
If you are finding your relationship difficult to deal with, or you are in an unsafe situation, there is help available. Women suffering abuse in Singapore can contact: https://www.aware.org.sg/