Everyone likes to believe they’re good at eating pussy… and to be fair, most people are enthusiastic and know the general theory.

But there’s a world of difference between being eager to eat out a woman and actually knowing how to use your tongue like an instrument.

Too often, cunnilingus becomes a speed-run: fast tongue, high hopes, no warm-up, and a whispered prayer to the orgasm gods. 

As a vulva-owner, let me be honest: the partners who give the best oral sex aren’t doing a hundred tricks. They understand clitoral stimulation in terms of pacing, responsiveness, and consistency.

Ready to learn how to eat pussy like it’s a succulent feast, well, let’s dive in.

1. Start With Arousal — Foreplay for Eating Pussy Well

The biggest myth about cunnilingus? That you should go straight for the clit.

In reality, the clitoris becomes up to five times more sensitive when aroused. Meaning early direct contact often feels sharp, ticklish, or overwhelming.

Research shows women orgasm more reliably when they feel emotionally attuned, relaxed, and physically warmed up. Oral sex is no exception.

Before your mouth goes anywhere near her clit, wake up her whole body:

1. french kiss her for 5–15 minutes . 
2. glide your fingers along her hips and lower belly. 
3. kiss the inner and outer thighs. 
4. trace slow shapes around the vulva. 
5. breathe close to her labia in a steady, teasing rhythm

The anticipation of foreplay alone is a great way to increase blood flow to the vulva, and more blood flow means stronger, sweeter clitoral sensations when oral begins.

2. Know the Landscape — Clitoral Anatomy for Better Cunnilingus

Most people think the clitoris is just that tiny nub at the top of the vulva.

But that visible “pearl” is only about 10% of the organ.

Under the surface, the clitoris branches like a wishbone, with two legs (crura) that wrap around the vaginal opening.

(image: Verywell Health)

Translated? The entire vulva is wired for pleasure, not just the tip.

Areas you don’t want to ignore:

• the clitoral hood (less intense entry point)
• the inner labia
• the area beneath the glans
• the outer sides of the vulva (where the clitoral legs sit)

(Image: pregnancybirth&baby)

Stimulating different areas activates different clusters of nerves, which is why strokes feel different depending on where you land.

The Fun Fact That Changes Everything

Every woman has a favourite “angle” and it’s almost never dead centre. She may respond more to:

• slightly left
• slightly right
• just above
• just below
• or a diagonal stroke

These preferences aren’t random. The internal clitoral legs create uneven nerve mapping, so one side usually fires stronger.

Your Job? Follow the Body, Not the Guesswork

Look for these signs to find her “sweet spot”:

• a caught breath
• hips lifting
• thighs tightening
• tension changing from soft to engaged

3. The Two Fundamental Cunnilingus Techniques to Master First

Whether you’re a beginner or already experienced, begin with these two simple foundational moves. The flat tongue and the suction technique. They might seem basic, but they can completely elevate your oral game. Once you master them, everything else naturally falls into place.

Then when you’re feeling confident with the basics, you can start building intensity by:

1. adding firmer tongue pressure. 
2. using stronger suction. 
3. increasing your pace.
4. engaging your tongue more deeply
   

Let’s give it a try…

A) The Flat Tongue Technique — Soft, Broad, Warm

This is one of the easiest, most reliable cunnilingus methods.

Why it works:

A relaxed, wide tongue offers broad, gentle, evenly distributed sensation. It warms the whole vulva, activates multiple nerve zones, and preps the clit for more targeted stimulation.

How to do it: 

1. Stick your tongue out and relax it: Keep it wide, flat, and soft. A relaxed tongue covers more surface area, giving her a fuller, more enveloping sensation.
   
2. Start at the bottom of her vulva: Place the base of your tongue near the vaginal opening. Make sure your tongue is thoroughly coated in saliva. Lubrication makes everything smoother and more pleasurable.
   
3. Move your head, NOT your tongue: Slowly lift your head upward from the bottom of her vulva to the top. Your tongue should stay relaxed, wide, and flat the entire time.
   
4. Let the clit be the final stop: As your head moves up, the flat surface of your tongue glides along the vulva until the very tip passes over the clitoris. This creates a teasing, warm-up stroke without overwhelming her sensitive tip too soon. Then repeat sensually.

Pro Tip: Do NOT wiggle or flick your tongue here. The magic is in the broad glide, not tongue gymnastics.

B) The Suction Technique — Gentle Vacuum, Steady Rhythm

This move is incredibly effective for clitoral stimulation. Many vulva-owners even compare the sensation to a clit suction toy — and there’s a reason that one’s a fan favourite

Why it works:

The clitoris responds beautifully to predictable, rhythmic stimulation. Steady suction creates a deep, pulsing sensation that the nervous system recognises as pleasure-building.

How to do it:

1. Make a soft “O” shape with your lips: Your lips should feel plush and relaxed, not tight. Think “gentle seal,” not “hard suction.”
2. Seal around her clitoral hood: Avoid the exposed tip, it’s far too sensitive for early-stage suction. The hood gives you the perfect buffer for deep, pleasurable stimulation.
3. Apply light suction: Create a gentle vacuum with your mouth. Start soft. Think “kiss with intention,” not “grab with your mouth.”
4. Add a steady tongue rhythm: Inside the seal, keep your tongue moving in a consistent rhythm. Small, repetitive movements work better than fast or chaotic ones.

Pro Tip:

Consistency is everything here. Once you find a rhythm she responds to, do not switch it. Stay with it until her body cues you otherwise.

4. 7 Mind-Blowing Cunninlingus Techniques 

With the basics in place, it’s time to build on your foundation. These 7 techniques work best when layered over the fundamentals, enhancing what you’re already doing and guiding your partner toward that “oh-my-god-don’t-stop” kind of pleasure.

1. Orbit the Planet — Slow Circles Around the Clit

Instead of going straight for the center, circle around the clitoris with slow, intentional movements. 

Why it works:

Circling teases the sensitive nerve endings under the clitoral hood without overwhelming the tip too soon. It builds anticipation and lets her body soften into pleasure rather than brace against intensity.

2. Tapping — Play With Tempo and Sensation

Use light taps for playful, fluttery stimulation. Add firmer taps for sharper, more defined sensation.

Why it works:

The clitoris responds beautifully to rhythmic pulses. Tapping mimics the way pleasure travels through the nervous system and when you match her natural rhythm, the body opens quickly.

3. Side-to-Side Strokes — Great for Rapid Arousal Build

Create gentle horizontal strokes just beneath the clitoral glans.

Why it works:

This spot sits directly above the internal clitoral legs (crura), making it especially reactive. Even subtle side-to-side movements can quickly boost arousal without overwhelming sensitivity.

4. Long & Languid Licks — Full-Vulva Indulgence

Start at the clit, glide your tongue down past the vaginal opening. Even grazing the perineum or anus if she enjoys it, then travel your tongue back up again.

Why it works:

These long, sweeping strokes stimulate multiple nerve clusters in one sensual movement. They create a slow-burning, full-body pleasure that feels deeply erotic.

5. Flicking — Targeted & Firm

This is the opposite of the flat tongue. Use a firmer, pointed tongue to deliver quick, concentrated flicks.

Why it works:

A pointed tongue provides sharper, more focused stimulation and ideal for vulva-owners who like intensity near climax. It’s best used as an accent technique, not the whole show.

6. Tongue Curl — Gentle Penetrative Sensation

Curl your tongue upward and slide it gently into the vaginal opening.

Why it works:

It’s less about how deep you go and more about the new texture and angle of pressure you create. The novelty of it can heighten arousal, especially when combined with consistent clitoral stimulation.

7. Clit Licking While Fingering the G-Spot — The Power Combo

Keep your mouth focused on the clitoral hood while your fingers curl upward to stimulate the G-spot.

Why it works:

The clitoris and G-spot share a nerve pathway, so dual stimulation can feel incredibly intense. This combination often leads to faster, fuller orgasms. Just be sure to keep your oral rhythm steady for maximum effect.

5. Bonus Techniques With Sex Toys

Want to turn the dial up even more?  This is where sex toys for clitoral stimulation come in. And remember: a sex toy doesn’t take the place of your mouth; it simply adds another dimension to the pleasure you’re building. Here are a few toy-enhanced oral techniques to deepen her experience.

1. Clit Licking + Dildo or Vibrator 

Try pairing oral with a dildo or vibrator to intensify clitoral and vaginal stimulation at the same time. Yes you heard right! While your tongue focuses on rhythmic clit licking, your other hand can introduce dual stimulation for deeper pleasure:

• a silicone dildo for a soft, flexible, natural-feeling stretch

• a vibrating dildo to add consistent internal stimulation that pairs beautifully with external oral

• a glass dildo for temperature play — the coolness followed by warm suction is a sensory contrast many vulva-owners describe as mind-blowing

2. Blindfold + Cunnilingus 

A blindfold instantly intensifies oral sex by removing sight and heightening every other sense. Without visual input, she’ll feel your tongue, breath, and suction more deeply and unexpectedly.

Want to explore this more? Check out our sensory play guide for simple ways to amplify arousal.

3. Light Restraints — BDSM-Friendly Play

With consent, light restraints like soft ties or under-bed straps can add a delicious layer of surrender to oral sex. Even gentle restraint heightens sensitivity and helps the body relax into receiving.

If you’re curious, our BDSM beginner’s guide walks you through how to try this safely and confidently.  

6. How to Read Her Cues and Build a Consistent Path to Orgasm

If you are reading this, you are committed (I like that). As far as technique goes, that’s only part of the whole experience. Reading her cues and staying steady is what really leads her to climax and to do that well, here are four tips to guide you through to the finish line:

1. Her Cues 

To know what’s working, listen with your eyes. Her body will show you long before she says anything out loud:

• hips rising to meet your mouth
• thighs tightening around your head
• breath getting shorter or louder
• quiet moans or changes in vocal tone
• pelvic rocking or subtle grinding

These aren’t random movements, they’re signs you’ve found something her body wants more of. So look out for them without having to ask for it and break the flow.

2. Consistency Is Everything

Once you land on the rhythm she melts into, do not switch it.

The biggest reason many vulva-owners lose their orgasm is simple: their partner changed the pattern at the exact moment they were close.

Imagine finally getting into the groove during a blowjob… and then the rhythm suddenly changes.

It’s the same frustration here. As a constant reminder: the clitoris responds best to predictable, repeated stimulation. Stay steady and let her body build.

3. Build the Orgasm (Don’t Chase It)

Your role isn’t to “make” an orgasm happen. It's to create the conditions where it can naturally unfold. That means:

• holding the same rhythm
• keeping pressure steady
• resisting the urge to speed up
• trusting her internal build

Orgasm is a slow stacking of sensation. The more consistent you are, the easier her body can climb that curve without interruption.

4. Aftercare (Don’t Skip This)

Right after orgasm, the clitoris becomes incredibly sensitive. Pull back gently and shift into gently touch:

• warm hands on her hips
• soft kisses on her thighs
• slow breathing together
• a moment of stillness before moving on

Aftercare isn’t optional, it’s part of the experience. It tells her nervous system, “You’re safe, I’m here, and that pleasure mattered.” For many vulva-owners, this sense of connection is what turns good sex into emotionally fulfilling intimacy.

7. Common Cunnilingus Mistakes to Avoid (According to Vulva-Owners Themselves)

At the end of the day, the most valuable lesson is simple: if the person receiving the pleasure had a great time, you’ve done well. As we wrap up this guide, keep in mind: the quickest way to avoid common cunnilingus mistakes is to really listen to your partner.

Before I sign off, here’s what vulva-owners actually say about being eaten out. The real truths, preferences, and things to avoid if you want your oral skills to improve rather than derail:

1. Going straight for the clit

“Every time someone goes straight for my clit, it’s too much. I need the build-up first, otherwise it just feels sharp and uncomfortable.”

2. Being too rough

“When someone is rough with their tongue like in porn, it ruins it for me. Slow and sensual works ten times better than aggressive licking.”

3. Ignoring the labia

“I wish partners knew the labia matter. When they skip it and go straight for the clit, it feels like half the pleasure is missing.”

4. Switching techniques too quickly

“My biggest complaint is when someone finds a rhythm that feels amazing…and then changes it right when I’m close. Just stay consistent.”

5. Using whipped cream or sugary foods

“Please stop putting sugary things near the vulva. I’ve gotten infections from that before. It looks sexy in movies, but it’s a bad idea in real life.”

6. Rushing the experience

“I can’t relax into pleasure when it feels rushed. The more present my partner is, the easier it is for my body to let go.”

7. Ignoring quickies entirely

“Not every session needs to be slow and romantic. Sometimes a focused, intentional quickie is exactly what I want — it just needs to be done with attention.”

Pleasure is more than technique; it’s connection. When you bring presence, patience, and real excitement to her body, she’ll feel it in every nerve ending. Honour her pleasure like a feast, and she’ll keep coming back hungry for more, seconds, thirds, and dessert included.

Hungry for more? Take your play to the next level with:

• Positions that feel incredible with a sex pillow
• Spreader bar positions that open up brand-new angles of pleasure

Your encore starts here.

Written by:

Jacqueline co-founded Genvie and Hedonist with a simple mission: to destigmatise sex and help people feel confident in their pleasure. As the brands’ Sex Educator and in-house toy tester, she creates inclusive, fun, and educational events with top industry experts. Follow Hedonist on Instagram for your weekly sex-ed fix.