Review of the Hedonist Poseidon
Before I get into the details of my experience, l just have to say, getting a male sex toy/masturbator/penis pump (or whatever we’re calling this god-level tech) was never on my bingo card, but here I am, at my laptop, debriefing this was a major life event.
A big part of the realism comes from how the material feels. The silicone is so lifelike that, with your eyes closed, it really helps complete the fantasy.
"It floored me how real the Hedonist Poseidon felt. And I’m not talking average play. I’m talking expert-level, milk-my-nut-kind of Kegel-grip!"
It’s almost scary how satisfying it is. Still, it’s an inanimate object... so yeh, lubrication (lots of it) is still very necessary.
One of the standout features of the Hedonist Poseidon is its range of rotation modes, giving you multiple ways to customise the experience:
- 3 rotation speeds for different intensity levels
- Clockwise and counterclockwise rotation
- Alternating rotation (switches direction automatically)
- Pulsing rotation mode for varied stimulation
In total, you get 7 rotation settings to explore.
And if you think this isn’t enough to bust your load, there are also 7 suction modes (yes, s-e-v-e-n!) that simulate different types of oral pleasure.
For the ultimate pleasurable experience, the deft silicone ‘tongue’ at the end of the cavity will tease the ultra-sensitive head of your member to climax.
"I am so spent whenever I use this!"
All of these individually would already make for a very immersive experience but used together… just wow! It’s like having a tireless oral aficionado pulling out every trick in the book just for you, for as long as you will have them. How can you say no to that?
Special Water Suction Feature
I’ll be fully honest here, I was a bit skeptical about this at first. It definitely took a little getting used to setting it up properly. But once I got it figured out, it’s actually pretty genius!
You can tell this masturbator is built to mimic that internal fullness. A snug, all-around pressure that wraps around your hardness and keeps the sensation consistent from start to finish.
"What elevates it is the combination of warm water and suction."
The softness, paired with gentle pressure, creates a smooth, enveloping feel that closely mirrors something real, letting your imagination take over and the experience unfold more naturally.
A Big Boy Toy
The Hedonist Poseidon is a pretty hefty device at 621g, nearly a foot long with an 8cm diameter, so it’s definitely there is no hiding this bad boy.
The motor is also clearly audible during use. Sure, it could be anything behind a closed door… but maybe have a good story ready if anyone gets curious when you emerge from your room with a happy, sheepish look on your face.
Practical things I learned about using the Poseidon
Since this was my first time using a penis pump, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. Case in point, I thought I had charged it, only to realise I hadn’t fully pushed the connector in. Rookie mistake. Don't be like me, make sure you give it a full charge before you start.
"The water suction mode is easily one of the best features of the Hedonist Poseidon, though it does take a bit of practice to get the hang of without making a splash."
Leakage can happen if the angle is not quite right. The manual suggests using it in the bathroom, and honestly, that is solid advice.
I recommend setting up in the bathtub with a towel laid down so you can stay comfortable. Trust me, you don’t want to deal with the cold shock of the bath floor or toilet seat. It also makes for a much better experience when you can lie back and relax instead of having to sit up or stand.
"Your legs will be VERY jelly-like by the end."
Cleanup is straightforward. The sleeve is fully removable and can be turned inside out, making it easy to clean thoroughly. It is also IPX7 rated, meaning it is fully waterproof. If you do have a spillage incident, as I sometimes did when enjoying myself a little too much, you will be glad for that.
To wrap it up, the Hedonist Poseidon has set the bar way higher than I expected. Solo play hits differently now. Whether you’re looking to level up handjob game or hunting for a dangerously good gift for your partner, this one’s definitely going to be hard to beat.
Explore What Feels Right for You
Finding what works for your body makes all the difference. Whether you’re just starting out or figuring out what you like, the right tools can change the experience completely.
Have a browse through our male sex toys and see what catches your eye.
If you’re looking for something more performance-focused, our penis pump collection is a good place to start.
