Being a late bloomer, I had my first sexual encounter post my 21st birthday. Throughout my 20’s my introverted nature often relied on a fair bit of Dutch courage to enjoy sex and preferably in non-intimate circumstances. I considered myself adventurous with positions in the bedroom, but never ventured into or sought out toys or experiences veering away from the ‘normal’. Dressing up, accessories and dildos had been boxed away into a ‘too kinky’ compartment in my mind, never to be explored.
In my late 20’s, I settled with my long-term partner and despite being together a good few years, sex is still a topic I unavoidably shy away from and occasionally freeze up about. No matter how comfortable I am with someone, it can be hard to let down the guard you spent your whole youth building up. Blame my Asian heritage or awkward nature, it had become entwined in the fiber of my identity and hard to shake off.
My interest was piqued when I would overhear friends discussing how '(sex-)life changing' toys were with a sparkle in their eyes. It felt like they were coming from a place of genuinely wanting to spread the love and I too, wanted to enter this magical world. After all, they were my friends and not a marketing billboard, they had no reason to oversell the orgasmic highs of sex toys. Was a new level of pleasure that readily accessible, with a swipe of my credit card? With a little probing (no pun intended) I made the plunge. I found myself with 2 gift boxes, readily packed for a fuss-free first timer experience - Netflix & Chill Set and Knotty But Nice Set.
(Netflix & Chill Set )
Knotty But Nice Set
As I sat staring at my packages – stuffed with nipple clasps, a tickle wand, large black vibrator and cock ring – it was dark, sexy and sleek but I couldn’t help feeling intimidated. It was an entry into a world I felt far removed from. “It looks so big and scary.. am I meant to put the vibrator inside me?” “What if I seriously injure my nipples with the clamps?” Silly questions started arising and I felt like a child on the first day of school. Maybe this was a bad idea after all and I should hide it forever in the depths of my drawer, away from my boyfriend…..
Enter a New Level of Pleasure
With a restless desire to shake up our usual routine from the humdrumness of a national lockdown, my boyfriend was quick to get acquainted with the products almost right away. Dimming the lights to a soft glow, we started off by putting the clamps on my nipples, which was a lot less oppressive than I had imagined. I gently twisted the clamp to a level that was tolerable. I had forgotten how sexy it could be to add little adornments like lingerie or a nipple clamp during sex, and how it boosted my confidence. Not to mention the slight squeezing sensation was a turn-on, while freeing up my boyfriend’s hands to do other dirty things to me. Then came the chain and teaser, my partner slowly stroked this against my body. It was a tasteful entrée which got us both excited for what was to follow.
With a handful of lube, he slipped on the Batman Cock Ring. It wrapped tightly but comfortable around his cock. The Batman design gave us something to giggle and fawn over while we warmed up for penetration. Going slowly in and out, we savoured the intense sensations of his fully hard cock slowly increasing the 10 (yes 10!!) vibrating speed levels. With his pumping penis steadily penetrating me and the cock ring resting against my clit, vibrating pleasurably, we locked eyes, bonding deeper than ever over our shared sensations.
The final toy, the Lana Del wand was the most exciting for me. Granted, the pleasure was mostly mine, although in Sanskrit there is a word that describes vicarious joy or the pleasure derived from another’s happiness – Mudita, which would seem apt for the state we were in. Almost immediately on contact with the warm vibrating head caressing my clit, my whole body exploded in shivers. While we are on the topic of Sanskrit, it would be unjust not to draw parallels to Nirvana. “I’m sold,” I gushed, panting as we finished off quicker than expected and rolled side by side on the bed, faces flushed, sweaty bodies touching and hearts racing. Sensing a definite sparkle in my eyes I had once only noticed in my friends. “Would now be an appropriate time to mention that a sex toy is very much superior to a regular, old penis?” I wondered. Probably not, but I would most definitely be sharing the news with my other girlfriends.
I enjoyed it so much I snuck the Lana Del Wand into the bathtub with me on one cold Winter's evening, allowing me to unwind deeper during my weekly routine of soaking in a hot lavender bubble bath with a glass of red wine. I felt like I had entered a new level of #adulting and was a far way from the girl who’s first instinct was to shove her new toys into oblivion.
The Netflix & Chill Set and Knotty But Nice Set were a great entry into the world of sex toys and opened up my curiosity to explore more. I have a whole new world to experience from the safety of my bedroom (or bathroom) and something tells me this is just the beginning…
The toys have now become a bedside staple and something we reach out for when we’re looking for a naughty evening.
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