Praise is good for you in more ways than one, and you don’t have to take our word for it, it’s scientifically proven. Compliments induce pleasure, kickstarting dopamine production that leads to feelings of gratification. Praise can also harmonise and strengthen your relationship, helping you to build trust and feel more comfortable with one another. When someone strokes your ego and tells you how fabulous you are, you’re going to feel good about yourself. It’s little wonder that praise kink is so popular!
You might be surprised to learn that praise kink doesn’t just benefit the person receiving the plaudits, it’s also advantageous to the person dishing out the niceties. If you’re offering praise you’re providing pleasure, increasing happiness, and reinforcing desired behaviour. Your partner is more likely to dress up, have fun and get raunchy especially if they know how much you like it and that you make them feel good about what they’re doing.
Receiving compliments may feel a bit strange at first, but embracing positive affirmations can heighten happiness, so why not accept those wonderful words?
BDSM is typically linked to discipline, impact, and bondage, but there’s more to kink than the thwack of a riding crop across bare buttocks. Being bad is certainly fun, but being good can be just as thrilling, and it allows you to delve into the gratifying world of praise kink. If you love compliments, praise kink could be right up your alley. This particular kink involves deriving satisfaction from giving or receiving positive affirmations, glowing feedback, and praise during day-to-day life, play, and sex.
Compliments are always welcome, be it a commendation for your hard work, a nod to your new hairstyle, or a standing ovation for the fantastic blow job you’ve just provided. Approval fills us with joy, especially when it’s delivered by a special someone. For fans of praise kink, the sense of pride is joined by another feeling - sexual arousal. When it comes to praise kink, compliments not only provide gratification they’re also a massive turn-on.
Positive reinforcement can be given in a variety of ways, if you’re new to the world of praise kink you might not be sure where to start. Thankfully, there are a couple of common phrases that work well for all occasions e.g. “You’re such a good girl / boy,” and “I’m so proud of you,” are encouraging on all levels. You can also tailor your phrases to fit the situation.
We’ve touched on telling your partner that they are a “good girl/boy.” This phrase works particularly well if you share a total power exchange (TPE) or Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship. Praising your submissive can bring you closer and reinforce your roles. Other ways to praise behaviour include “You really know just how to turn me on,” and “That's right, keep going, just like that."
Delight and arouse your other half by highlighting their good points and assets. This is a good way to vanquish insecurities and build body confidence. Phrases such as “Bend over and show me your cute ass",” “Your ass looks amazing in those jeans,” and “Your lips are so kissable,” will make your partner feel like a million dollars.
Pleased with the way your partner is going about things? Tell them how well they’re doing by uttering phrases such as "You can really take a spanking, I like that," and “The sounds you make are so hot.” Praising their performance will motivate your partner to continue on the same path.
When praise acts as a turn-on, accolades in the bedroom can take sex from run-of-the-mill to remarkable. Telling your partner how much you fancy them and want them will give them one hell of a boost. Try “I love it when you lick/ suck, [body part],” or “You feel incredible, I want to make love to you all night long” and “You are an amazing lover.”
It can take time to figure out which phrases turn you on and which switch you off, and whilst some like to be praised verbally, others feel that actions speak louder than words. A broad smile, a cheeky wink, or a reassuring squeeze of the arm can all be used as subtle ways to praise your other half. You could even mix it up by using a combination of the two e.g., an encouraging kiss on the cheek combined with the words “You’re doing so well, I’m so pleased,” can work wonders.
As with all BDSM-style play, you should discuss your boundaries and limits up front and always engage in SSC (safe, sane, consensual) play. You’ll need to talk about how this is going to play out for you before praise kink becomes part of the equation. A few things to think about:
Praise kink, sex, and BDSM can be a heady combination and a great way to spice up your love life. Need a little inspiration? Here are some ideas to get those creative juices flowing…
Enhance foreplay and intercourse with flattering compliments. You don’t have to go straight to the bedroom, start the night with a fancy meal (don’t forget to tell your partner how gorgeous they look).
Once you’re ready for bedroom antics you can set the mood with lingerie and even sexy masks for a touch of mystery. Throw in sex toys to ramp things up, adding praise kink as you go, “I love it when you slide that glass dildo in and out of your pussy.”
A good spanking works wonderfully well with praise kink. “That’s it, over my lap now, you’re such a compliant slave.” The flat of the palm slapping bare cheeks, “I love it when you take your punishment so well.” The thud of the paddle and the sting of the riding crop coupled with teasing words, “Look how well your beautiful round buttocks jiggle”, can elevate the whole experience.
Bondage and praise kink fit together exceptionally well. Restrain your lover and give them gentle encouragement as you bind their ankles and wrists with rope, “You’re such a pretty rope bunny, let’s suspend you so everyone can see.” Other restraints work well with praise kink too. Why not secure your submissive to the bed with cuffs, adding a blindfold and ball gag to ensure they stay put? Watch them squirm as you whisper in their ear, telling your partner how much you love it when they obey you and are at your mercy.
If praise kink seems nerve-racking you can take the edge off by combining it with role play. There are plenty of costumes and scenarios to choose from, and adopting another persona can help you to relax. Play out a classroom scene featuring a strict teacher and naughty student “You are so clever! Here’s a gold star,” or engage in medical play Doctor and patient style “Super, you’re doing so well, I’ll just lube my rectal thermometer.”
If you’re feeling adventurous you can go a step further and combine praise kink with more extreme BDSM activities, such as age play e.g. “Be a good girl / boy for Daddy.” Humiliation play including forced feminization (encouraging a male submissive to dress as a female) invites an element of praise kink too, “Oh look how pretty Simon looks with his pink bow and frilly knickers, how cute.”
“To praise is an investment in happiness” – David Dunn
If you think you might have a penchant for praise kink you’re not alone, after all, there are plenty of BDSM fans in the world. Some crave pain, some relish pleasure and others prefer a heady mix of the two. Praise kink falls on the mild side of play, and you can both try it out wherever and whenever you’re comfortable.
It’s all about mutual pleasure, offering compliments will make your partner feel happy, which in turn will make you feel great. With praise kink you get the added bonus of arousal and a sexual buzz. So if you’re looking to invest in your happiness and boost your sex life, why not give praise kink a go?
Still not sure where to start with praise kink? Check out our pleasure empowerment workshop Intro to kink, to help you get acquainted with other worldly pleasures to unlock your sexual potential.
“Someone’s not getting enough sex.” A common joke made by people who have noticed that someone might be snappier or more irritable, or maybe just peeling the labels off their drink bottle. Jokes aside, is there any credence to the joke?
But have you heard of skin hunger? Or skin starvation? What’s the different between the two? Do you need a hug? Or do you need some sexual healing? We aim to answer all these sexual wellness questions today.
June is a month where we celebrate love, in all waves, shapes and forms. Be unapologetically you! No matter what your sexuality or preference may be, we all deserve to be loved and experience pleasure.
You might be wondering how to spice things up in the bedroom! Sex toys can help strengthen relationships and intimacy. Throwing in a toy here and there can help to level up your experience. So now, we explore six of the best LGBTQIA+ toys to help spice up your sex life.
Before we jump into the toys, keep in mind that consent is always key. Have an open discussion with your partner on what they like and what they don’t like. Having productive conversations like this is one of the sexiest things you can do for your relationship!
The viral Tik-Tok sensation has made its way to Hedonist’s catalogue. That’s right, we are launching a rose shaped clit toy that is guaranteed to help you reach your big Os! Not only does this toy look aesthetically pleasing, it is guaranteed to provide the ultimate dual and blended orgasm you’ve been waiting for all this time.
The rose suction function comes with air pulse clitoral stimulation, with 10 suction and vibrating patterns, it will most definitely help to bloom your orgasms into a full stimulated experience.
The Dolce Vita Rose also has a dildo thruster function, we were not kidding when we said dual and blended orgasms! This feature is used for penetrative orgasms. Armed with another 10 vibrating patterns, this toy is definitely a must have for beginners and LGBTQIA+ couples. It also works as a “double-ended” massager.
This toy is sure to stimulate arousal and pleasure in the bedroom! The Fun Factory black strap on is designed with your comfort in mind. Made with soft denim (100% vegan!) The strap is ready to deliver what you need! Be it anal or vaginal penetration, rest assured that this harness will not cause any chaffing and fits with any dildo with a base diameter of 4 or 5cm.
The Limba dildo is the ideal toy for riding, with sizes S and M available. The Limba flex S is great for some steamy grinding action. The longer Limba flex M is made for more thrusting action.
When paired with the strap on, it allows for greater control and ease in switching up positions.
If you swooned over Robert Pattinson in the newest Batman movie, we have just the toy for you! The Batman cock ring is a stretchy cock ring that comes powered with 10 different vibration modes to satisfy both partners’ needs.
Made out of body safe silicone, this toy rests either on the male’s shaft or testicles depending on how it’s positioned. It is completely waterproof, which means you can save on water together (if you get my drift). The Batman cock ring also doubles as a mood ring for your shaft as it changes colour with each unique vibration to set the mood.
This toy has a funny little origin story. Initially designed to relieve muscle tension and relax sore muscles, legendary sex educator Betty Dodson popularised it’s use as a vibrator and masturbation aid for women in during the sex positive movement in the late 1960s and boy was she onto something here. This toy has gone on to help many women to achieve their first big Os.
Now that you know the history of the wand toy, let’s talk about this one, it’s made of body safe silicone and is 100% safe to use in the shower. The wand is also super quiet for your discretion. (>40DB) You can also use this toy to stimulate your erogenous zones.
With 4 speeds and 7 different vibrating patterns, this toy is great for beginners to achieve multiple orgasms that Betty Dodson would be proud of.
Before we go onto anal toys, say it with me, “lube, lube and lube!” All done? Good, it is of utmost importance to lube up before anal play. The anus does not self-lubricate like other sexual organs. To ensure maximum pleasure, don’t be afraid to use as much lube as you need. Anal sex should not be painful. Liquid Silk is a fantastic water-based lubricant for any sort of play. One pump goes a long way! For more anal play tips, check out our blog post.
For those of you who may enjoy a little back door action, the Landys anal stroker is just the the toy for you. The toy replicates fingering-like motions guaranteed to give you deep satisfaction.
For the misters, this toy is the best teaser for your prostate and perineum. This sleek black anal stroker comes with 9 quiet and discreet vibrating settings and 3 waving speeds guaranteed to meet your needs.
Our Akoya anal beads are designed with the user in mind to make you go “ooh-la-la” every single time with every single bead. The most important thing about any anal toy is a plug base. That ensures easy removal once you’re done with the toy.
The tip features a smooth, round tip for easy entry, the slightly graduated beads electrify with each movement. The wide plug handle ensures that the beads don’t slip too far in, while still resting comfortably on your peaches.
We’ve introduced you to 6 phenomenal toys guaranteed to spice things up in the bedroom. Always remember to wash your toys and store them correctly. (All toys come with a pouch and charger). We’re so excited for you to begin your sexploration!
Happy masturbation May!
This May, we are celebrating one of the biggest acts of self-love; masturbation! There has been a positive global shift in the way people perceive masturbation, so much so that there’s a whole month dedicated to it! Specifically, the 28th of May. Masturbation improves sexual wellness and, releases stress.
But have you ever heard of a Kegel ball? Aka, Ben wa balls, is a tool that can help women improve their bedroom experience and attain an out of this world level of sexual pleasure! So here are five tips and tricks to using Kegel Balls to enhance pleasure through stronger orgasms.
First off, if you’ve never seen Kegel balls, here they are:
They can look pretty daunting initially, but we got you! Once you’ve learned how to use them, it can strengthen your relationship with your partner.
Kegel balls or Ben wa balls, are two or three weighted balls commonly made out of medical grade silicone (although there are different balls made out of different types of materials). They are attached together through a pea-pod looking case and are made to be safely inserted into your vaginal opening. Kegel balls are commonly used to strengthen muscle tone in your pelvic and anal areas which in turn, improves your pelvic floor muscle strength. Some Kegel balls come with a vibrating function and some may not and can be used as a sex toy as well!
As a woman’s body changes, through childbirth and ageing (which is completely normal FYI!) the vaginal muscles weaken, Kegel balls help to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which can help with incontinence issues. During penetrative intercourse, engaging or contracting the area can intensify the sensations for your partner.
Although normal Kegel exercises work, the Kegel balls can help you to engage and really focus on the area you’re working on. When used regularly, Kegel balls can help release sexual tension as well.
Firstly, remember to use lubrication, this will ease the process and make it less painful to insert the Kegel balls. If using a silicone material Kegel ball, do NOT use silicone lube, opt for a water-based lubricant instead. Kegel balls should not be left in for more than four hours. Kegel balls should not be used during pregnancy or while recovering from childbirth or with a tampon/menstrual cup.
Wash your hands with soap, apply your lube of choice on the Kegel balls and insert them up your vaginal opening. It’s as simple as that!
There are pelvic floor exercises available to do with the Kegel balls, but if you’re a busy woman, simply inserting them and going about your daily routine works as well. The Kegel balls work best when you focus on the sensations and actively engage your pelvic floor muscles.
The sensation of Kegel balls varies from individual to individual, but they should not feel like they’re about to fall out or feel uncomfortable. There are some Kegel balls that are detachable so you can adjust to whatever feels good for you.
To remove them, wash your hands again, apply more lube, and slowly and gently pull on the string attached to the end of the Kegel balls, and remove them. This is done best lying on your back.
Especially if it’s your first rodeo with them, don’t feel pressured to immediately use the heaviest option. Remember; your sexual experience is unique to you. So do what makes you feel comfortable. Gradually increase the weight of the balls overtime. Do them with Kegel exercises. Practice makes perfect! So don’t feel like you have to get it down to a tee on the first go.
With our busy day to day lives, it’s easy to forget to do the exercises or use the balls. It is recommended to do 2-3 sets of exercises a day to start off, three times a week. Once you feel more confident and comfortable, you can increase reps, or add weights or time. Just like working out at the gym!
Having the Kegel balls in may make you feel aroused. Don’t be shy, whip out your favourite toy and put it to work! This can intensify the sensation of the balls in your vagina and make you feel great. Using a curved shaped toy or a clitoral toy can help bring your orgasm to the next level. Keep in mind to avoid using silicone toys with a silicone material set of Kegel balls as silicone on silicone as it will deteriorate the material.
Some Kegel balls come with a remote controlled vibrator, hand your partner the remote and let them take the reins. This way, your partner knows they’re in for a good time later in the day and you’ll feel the impetus to work harder on your exercises. The feeling of anticipation will definitely turn the both of you on and you both know that you’re in for a good time in the bedroom later. Verbalise the sensations you feel and let them know that what they’re doing feels great. Adding sex toys into the bedroom for can always spice things up!
Ultimately, Kegel balls are an investment, so get some damn good ones. Kegel balls provide a great range of benefits besides sexual pleasure. Many people aren’t aware of the correlation of strong pelvic floor muscles and phenomenal sex! The sensations of contracting and relaxing during penetration can make a world of a difference during intercourse. Even a mere five minutes a day can do wonders. Hedonist tribe offers a great range and variety of different Kegel balls to suit your needs.
Kegel exercises work for many people, but not for everyone, and that’s okay. Kegel exercises may not benefit individuals with tight pelvic floor muscles. If you try to contract muscles that are already worked out and tired, they may not be able to respond to the exercises. Speak to a trusted health professional to find out more.
Ultimately, the biggest sex organ in the body is your brain, so keep an open mind and get ready to experience the biggest revolution of your sex life, for the better.
Need help working on your kegel muscles? Try our Gaia Kegel Balls (Wellness Set) or the Hedone Kegel Balls (Pleasure Set). It’s soft, body-safe silicone, so it is comfortable and easy to wear even for beginners. Designed with pleasure in mind, it provides rumbly vibrations and three progressive weights for toning to increase your level of inner fitness.
