First off what is the Orgasm Gap?
It's defined as "the disparity in orgasms between cisgender men and women".
Let's look at a study on respondents who "always or usually orgasm" during sex.
Source: Frederick, D.A., John, H.K.S., Garcia, J.R. et al. Differences in Orgasm Frequency Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Men and Women in a U.S. National Sample. Arch Sex Behav 47, 273–288 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-017-0939-z
Almost 9 out of 10 (95%) straight men usually orgasm during partnered sex compared to roughly 6 out of 10 (65%) straight women.
Yikes! That's a 30% difference!
While almost 8 out of 10 (86%) homosexual women usually orgasm during sex!
Why Is This Happening?
1. THE UNKNOWN FEMALE ANATOMY
When it comes to identifying and describing the functions of the vulva, many are unclear on how the different parts work (including vulva owners!).
2. POOR MEDIA REPRESENTATION
Porn and mainstream media often show unrealistic scenes of women having mind-blowing orgasms from penetrative sex alone.
3. STUD VS SLUT NARRATIVE
The truth is women are judged more harshly for engaging in casual sex or even masturbation. This ‘slut-shaming’ makes it harder for women to speak up and own their pleasure, leading to them neglecting their needs and desires.
Did you know that 80% of women do not climax through penetration alone?
How Do We Close The Gap?
1. GET CLITERATE
It's almost a given, but educating yourself on the female anatomy can empower you to guide your partner around it, increasing your pleasure and their confidence. It also helps to research the different ways for a woman to orgasm, it ain’t just about putting the P in the V.
Hot tip: read articles, search for online courses, or attend workshops to enrich your knowledge!
2. EMBRACE YOUR SEXUALITY
It’s not always easy to express your sexuality especially if you’ve been taught that it's a ‘taboo’. Redefine what pleasure means to you, share your discoveries with your partner, and have open conversations surrounding sex and pleasure.
Female pleasure is a natural and healthy thing and we should normalize it.
Hot tip: communicate your needs and keep an open mind when listening or expressing your deepest desires with your partner.
3. ALL HANDS ON DECK
Take time to experiment, explore and understand your body, learn what you like, and have fun with it! The more you practice self-pleasure, the better you get at knowing what gets you off and it also helps to increase blood flow to your genitals resulting in easier orgasms!
Hot tip: try different positions, change up your routine, or even try using a sex toy!
We ain’t here to point fingers at any gender but to send the message that there are ways around this inequality in the bedroom and we most certainly can close the gap with education! 💪🏻